Perhaps . . . it is time for . . . and coffee

I feel the unrelenting need to apologize for my lack of blog activity. Seriously, there is no excuse. Countless times in the last month (plus) i have read something in my quiet time, or had a random thought pop into my head that i thought merited being blogged about, but alas, nothing to show for over a month. UNLESS of course you've been reading up on my COUGAR SOCCER BLOG or perhaps you've been checking up on the EXTENDED MELODY PROJECT website in anticipation for this coming show on October 30th.

But just in case you haven't been keeping up on either of those, here's what's been going on in my mind::

Thoughts of accountability...manhood...servanthood...childhood...christ-hood

Thoughts of beauty-seriously, have you looked outside lately? you might have to see past a few rain drops once in a while, but this summer fall transition has been absolutely beautiful!

Thoughts about how i miss spain with everything that is within me and cannot wait to leave for my favorite country in just a mere 3 months.

Thoughts about how dearly i will miss my apartment mates and friends here on campus while abroad this spring.

Thoughts about ministry-why we wait for it, why i'm not pursuing more ministry opportunities with people...why i'm involved in the ministries i am involved in.

Maybe i will try to elaborate on a few of these in later posts, if i get on a normal posting schedule! But in parting, here is probably the biggest thing i have learned and sought to apply to my life::: God is always in control (look at the creation narrative, jesus in the boat with his disciples, or revelation), and sometimes when we lose control, i think it is his way of doing us a favor and re-placing the control into his hands. Because he knows what to do with the control...and he can handle everything that he has put into our lives.

walk by faith

All roads lead to somewhere

So right now in the life of Cody, I feel as if I am at a cross roads of sort...but not one that so much requires me to drastically turn ninety degrees to the left or to the right or boldly trudge on dead ahead. No, no this crossroad is more of a realization of the subtle divergences from the main path that I am on...most of which continue me in the more or less same(ish) direction the I am headed.

Sometimes I think...well they're all going the same direction...it doesn't really matter which path I'm on...other times i obsess about the road not traveled and how that one made all the difference...

One night last week, i was thinking about all these different paths and if i should subtly slide to the next path and which path God would want me on at this point...then something hit me..."ASK HIM"...i spend so much time thinking about what jesus would do, what God's will is for my life...that SO many times i just forget to look at him and ask "what is it you want me to do?"...i claim to believe in a Loving, Living, and Acting God...yet so often i treat him like the heavily influential father who died tragically to early in the plot and left his son to carry on his legacy (think startrek, starwars, lion king)

Then I read Genesis 12:1-4

And not only does God answer the question "what do you want me to do" but his answer goes above and beyond what i often remember to live by.

Go from...to...and I will(4x's)...So...

God will tell us what to do...and so often i feel like the verb he wants us to do is just "GO"...don't worry about the destination, the way, the money, the people...He'll take care of all of that (the 4 "I will..."s)...all we gotta do is Go::

humbling and challenging...i don't think the road or destination matters (at least it shouldn't to me)...cause i'll never get there unless i go!

?when the time is right...whatcha gonna do?

Been reading in the book of Genesis lately...thought it would be fitting to read about the beginning of the world around the beginning of the school year...makes sense right?

Anyway, i find the phrase at the end of Genesis 4, specifically verse 26 that says "at that time, men began to call on the name of the LORD."

Also grabbing my attention was verse 22 of chapter 6, "Noah did everything just as God commanded him."

...if you have the time...you should read everything that happened prior to genesis 4:26...we're talking creation, getting kicked out of the garden, naming lots of animals, having children, murder...and THEN mankind begins to call upon the name of the LORD.

?!?!?!

Now, noah had a pretty specific set of instructions...not quite etched in stone, but he blatantly heard the word of the Lord telling him to do some things, and it's a good thing he did them otherwise a few animals might not have fit on the boat, or worse it would have sunk 15 days into the global sailing expedition.

but what a difference in our tendencies...to experience countless things then look to God and try to include him in our lives....or to follow everything he says, just as he says...

which pattern do you follow more regularly...
what would your life look like if you followed the other...
are you comfortable calling on God prior to calling on any other source and then following exactly whatever it is he asks you to do.....?

just some late night thoughts on the beginnings...that ironically still apply to me here somewhere in the late middle

:::Pour a ::Drink:: and Rejoice:::

i am currently on day 3 home and separated from the people i spent the last 63 days ministering with through the context of sports...it truly was an amazing summer, and i am quite grateful for the experiences we had together, and the way God chose to reveal himself to us day and night.

sometimes after a period of time of intensive ministry (why it's an intensive period of time i may blog and critic later) it is tough to maintain the energy and purpose that was present during the ministry. i do not like the peak to peak view of the christian walk, but prefer to view it more as a continual uphill climb...and at times we are in environments and with people that expedite the climb...and when we are out of that environment and without those people we have to really dig our heals in to keep climbing.

The morning after i arrived home from Chicago, i opened my bible to hear from the Lord, and Philippians 2:12-18 leaped out at me and cried to be written about.

Right away, Paul is talking about his separation from the believers in Philipi, and he challenges them to dig in, to work out their salvation even though they are apart. "what does the cross compel you to do?" Does our relationship with God call us to action, to work at showing that we have a relationships with Christ...to the point of investing your whole self and person? It can be easier to through your whole self into a ministry when others are doing the same, but when it's just you Paul says to continue to invest all of you in the ministry--because it's the Lord's work, and he will provide and work through all of you.

Also, have you ever thought about what you have in your hands? At times in my life i am carrying sports, music, school, faith, family, relationships in my hands...and it's hard to carry anything else...verse 16 it says how we are to be HOLDING OUT the word of life...sometimes i'm content just to hold the word of life...it's really all i can do my hands are so full with other things...but that is not what i am called to do...i am called to hold out the word of life at all costs, and let everything else i would like to hold onto fall into God's hands...so he can do with them as he wants...i am simply suppose to share the light of the world with everyone i come in contact with...word thought and deed.

word thought and deed proclaiming the kingdom and life of Christ...this is incredibly difficult...i cannot even begin to say that i have it figured out...i've figured a lot more of it out recently...but i am still no where near ready to write a book or tell someone else how to live

...it seems to me like i am just suppose to pour myself out...like a drink...and let Christ do the filling and watering...

then i can truly rejoice as i watch him work...

pour yourself and rejoice

:::how do you breathe:::

Mark 15:39

:::And when the centurian, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, "Surely this man was the Son of God.":::

. . . "and saw how he died he said" . . .

No matter your religious or historical view on the validity of Jesus' life, deity, or ministry...it is hard to deny the impact that his living had on the world...past present and future.

Even in dying, he lead a man to the throne of God and belief and faith in him.

His final breath resulted in a man coming to a realization of who Jesus was...

I haven't had a final breath yet...and i don't know what my final breath will be like...but i hope i consciously allow God to use all of my intermediate breaths like he used Jesus' final.

post written current thoughts with a bowl on the boarderline

Spoon in hand on the third story back porch, eating a concoction of honey bunches of oats with a disproportionately less amount of milk (helps preserve the crunch)—my mind wanders to many things…lonely things…communal things…things of brotherhood….

The brotherhoods I belong to:: largest of all the Christ following fellowship, smallest of all the manikin escalator riders (ask my sister)::and a slew varying groups in between. Comparing these various groups to the brotherhoods that surrounded our soccer camp last week…the brotherhoods that constantly fire harmful objects at each other from across the street, fighting over who is purchasing the harmful substances they have hidden in their cars, all for the sake of protecting those in their group:::those they …love…

Gang activity has always fascinated me, and seeing it first hand last week was simply amazing. To see the humanity in the blood thirsty killers we usually see on the news, to realize that they kick a soccer ball the same way I do, they enjoy their hamburgers with ketchup, and enjoy a good scoop of icecream from a street vendor as much as the anyone else…the fact that at the end of the day they are going to hell without Jesus Christ living in them…just like the corporate millionaire who donates half his salary to an orphanage in China.

It is amazing how quickly common ground can be found….common ground from which the gospel can be shared…for our brotherhood of eagles common ground was found in a soccer ball and food primarily…humanity secondly….

And as I sit here, watching fireworks go off in the back alley..occasionally mistaking one for a gunshot causing me to bite extra hard on the spoon of cereal..i realize that I never have an excuse to keep the gospel to myself..everyone needs to hear it..everyone has a method in which they can receive it..everyone lives on the borderline…not necessarily of turf wars…but a borderline in their life…and it’s on the common ground our brotherhood will increase in number…cheers:::

seated where i don't belong

So as the summer continues to unfold, God never ceases to blow my mind...tonight was through the simpleness of a meal:::.

Amidst the week of blistering heat, sun burn, screaming kids, fire hoses, soccer camp, practices and games, our group of the chicago eagles decided to spend the evening serving in a soup kitchen.

Having just returned from Brazil i was somewhat ready for the poverty we found at the downtown chicago homeless shelter, but i wasn't prepared for the reaction of comparison that would develope in my head.

We prepared a nice meal of tacos, watermelon, and ice cream--a simple effort at appeasing natural hunger needs faced by billions every day--and we prepared smiles and sensitive hearts and prayerful attitudes for the more difficultly mended spiritual needs faced by everyone every day.

We hadn't been at the shelter for more than 30 minutes when all the sudden i began singing the song "Carried to the Table" by Leeland..::..specificall the chorus::

I'm carried to the table,
seated where i don't belong,
i'm carried to the table,
and i'm swept away by his love...

I'm well aware of the materials ways in which i've blessed, and recently time spent with those blessed with a lesser portion in these areas has opened my eyes to the brevity and in-importance of those things and areas we usually list first in our "ways we are blessed" commentaries...

but the time spent with those has continuously opened my eyes to the amazingness of the fact that God opens his life and arms to me, and carries me to HIS table...and seats me at his table...a place i know i don't belong...not only that, but he carries anyone who lets him carry them::

i'm doing a terrible job at portraying my thoughts...but just the fact that he loves us so immensly and unconditionaly...to bring us in and bless us with his presense and sustenance dailiy...something we do not deserve...amazes me...brings me to my knees

and here at this table...we lose sight of everything that doesn't matter:: our brokeness, our needs, ourselves...and we're just captivated by his lavishing lovings on us...

i imagine my soul looked very tattered, tired, and undeserving when it walked up to heaven's gates looking for some form of sustenence...and then when it saw the extent of how Jesus truly wanted to care for it...all the sudden the meal didn't seem so important...nor did the brokeness or state of my soul...cause he carried me...

:::into his presense:::

(encourage everyone to follow the link to the song...it might help explain the ramblings typed above)