Esperanza Siempre

Challenging words

2012-01-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

"To let their light shine, not to force on them their interpretations of God's designs, is the duty of Christians toward their fellows. If you who set yourselves to explain the theory of Christianity, had set yourselves instead to do the will of the Master, the one object for which the Gospel was preached to you, how different would now be the condition of that portion of the world with which you come into contact! Had you given yourselves to the understanding of his word that you might do it, and not to the quarrying from it of material wherewith to buttress your systems, in many a heart by this time would the name of the Lord be loved where now it remains unknown.

The word of life would then by you have been held out indeed."

--George MacDonald

Words of 2011

2012-01-01T20:42:00.001-08:00

Here are a few words spoken to or by me, or may-haps carried some significance over the last 12 months:

....in no particular order....

Cuba, Graduation, Sunrise,

Patience, Goodbye,

Theology, The Body,

Here, Now, There, Then,

Road Trips, Passports, Skype

Music, Family, Son, Brother, Father, Mother, Sister

"Is that's all that holding you back?"

Benches, Walks,

Phone Calls, Mango, Obedience

Mantel, Travel, Urban Eagles, Discipleship, Righteousness,

Friendship, Faith

Press On

Prayer

An Abundant Life

Sometimes it's best to use the words of others

2011-12-06T07:15:00.001-08:00

I came across this writing a few months ago, and it really struck a note in my heart, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. If you'd like a little back ground music to accompany your reading, give this a shot ;-)

I Stand at the Door
By Sam Shoemaker (from the Oxford Group)

I stand by the door.
I neither go to far in, nor stay to far out.
The door is the most important door in the world -
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door - the door to God.
The most important thing that any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man's own touch.

Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live on the other side of it - live because they have not found it.

Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him.
So I stand by the door.

Go in great saints; go all the way in -
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics.
It is a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in.
Sometimes venture in a little farther,
But my place seems closer to the opening.
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them;
For God is so very great and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia
And want to get out. 'Let me out!' they cry.
And the people way inside only terrify them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled.
For the old life, they have seen too much:
One taste of God and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
But would like to run away. So for them too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.

Where? Outside the door -
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But - more important for me -
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.

'I had rather be a door-keeper
So I stand by the door.

Photo Reel from November

2011-12-01T06:47:00.001-08:00

December and November was a wonderful blur of family and friends and soccer and car rides and meals and smiles and love. Here are a few photos and captions from the month!

Sunday School with some boys from my soccer team!

McDonalds after sunday school with some of the boys on my soccer team!

nom nom nom

Of course, while briefly home, family photo albums came out. yes, this is me...and yes, i still have a very similar relationship with tire swings and trees

On the drive from Charlotte to Columbus we got to stop and see my best friend and sister with no genetic similarities, T*r*, check out her blog!

I was really excited that this particular calendar event lasted 10 days.

See what i mean!!

What do you mean your family doesn't fly stunt kites in 30+mph wind on Thanksgiving?! What's wrong with you!?

Like a croissant sandwich and grapefruit is one of my favorite ways to nourish and sustain my stomach, family, friends, and God's kingdom (if there is any distinction to be made there) nourish the soul, satisfy and fill a life, and source a thankful heart.

Fading Fall

2011-11-06T11:14:00.000-08:00

Even though 2011 is fading away, and most of the trees are clinging to the last of their leaves, life in the Urban Eagle's neighborhoods is anything but fading.

Skills are sharpening, teams are growing, relationships are deepening, and time is speeding.

It's hard to believe there is barely more than a month left for me down here in Charlotte. While the kids and I both know that our time together is coming to a close, that has only increased the amount of meaningful words, quality time, and laughs between us.

Enjoy some photos, videos, and brief stories from Tournaments , Church , Block Party, and the last few weeks!

Our Under 10 boys getting ready for their Sunday afternoon game!

The all-star cast of Woodbridge Urban Eagles performing their "Hall of Faith" skit for everyone at the last Urban Eagle soccer tournament of the fall. They did a FANTASTIC job!

I imagine the dining room table in heaven will look a lot more like this than we realize!

Myself, Jessica and Travis Jones (two of my favorite urban eagle coaches, and newest best friends) enjoying some BBQ and Takis at the Greirheights Block Party

TRUE STORY::At the block party, we served dinner to around 300 people. The last couple came up to the table and there was only one plate of food left. We willingly gave it to them, but we were sorry we didn't have a plate for each of them (they appeared very hungry). As they walked away, one of the servers turned around to see one last plate, already prepared for them, that hadn't been there before. It may not be 5,000 with bread and fish, but how incredible is our God's LOVE to provide for everyone! Matthew 14:13-21

Everyone enjoying the block party, which featured a Rap Concert, basketball tournament, food, bonfire, and lots and lots of love

From L-R::Yeferson (featured in the pingpong video), Alan, myself, and Reynaldo after Sunday school.

The absolute privilege of being prayed for and commissioned by the next generation, it's not that I'm leaving them on December 13th. THEY ARE SENDING ME, to share the love and joy they've poured into my life the last 4 months.

May my ceiling be their floor, may they seek higher heights than they ever thought possible.

A way with Hemmingway's Island

2011-10-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

Got to spend last week on the wonderful island of Cuba. It's rather like anywhere else in the world. There are people, there are buildings, there is nature, there is a struggle between good and evil. To love or not to love? To think of myself or to think of others? To trust my life to the hands and actions of someone else, or to make the most of it by the fleeting standards around me? There's really nothing special about soccer. There is plenty special about the people who play it though. Just like there is with anyone who reflects true glory by expressing themselves as they were created to.

Welcome to Socialist Cuba

Coach Bill proving you don't need to speak the same language to be friends and play together

Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.

Equipping Coaches to reach the lives of those around them.

Meet the lil rascals/sandlot gang of Catilla de Agua

Faithful servants, committed disciples, wonderful friends

All the nations you have made
   will come and worship before you, Lord;
   they will bring glory to your name.
For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
   you alone are God.
Teach me your way, LORD,
   that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
   that I may fear your name.
Psalm 86

Let's Get Out Of Town

2011-10-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

Amongst learning to play backyard golf, FIFA 2011 tournaments, 13 cards, driveway basketball, frontyard football, and a million laughs---This weekend we took a select group of Urban Eagles (2 sites there for ya ) players from Charlotte to Highpoint, N.C. to play against the JV team from Wesleyan Christian Academy. Friday Night we mixed up the teams and scrimmaged each other, and Saturday Morning the Urban Eagles squared off against their Highpoint hosts.

It was quite a treat to watch our boys stretch their legs on a full side field ( a real treat compared to the usual tennis court sized dirt patch we play on ), and watch both teams (featuring many different cultures and languages) stretch their hearts on the field, in post game meals, and through casual conversations and hanging out.

Coaches took turns sharing with both teams about the identity that is waiting to be stepped into by each of the young men present, an identity that is secure in their creators eyes - - an identity that can change the world around them. No matter the world that is around them, growing young adults with vision or restoration and purposed by love will make a difference.

Enjoy some photographic memories from the weekend, check back soon for reflections on the upcoming trip to a Caribbean Island! May we stand in the gap of this world's imperfections with the same conviction, compassion, and power that our inspiration did . . . and still does . . . through those such as these.

The UE and WCA teams post game

UE guys with Grace Church Youth Group

Few of the Boys getting warmed up for the match

Red and White, Same team in more ways than one

Coach Corbin Waller with UE and WCA teams

Coach Ben Page with the guys listening to wise words coming from the right of the camera

Gotta take a break and play a lil basket ball once in a while, who cares about double dribbling, traveling, or any of the formal basketbal "rules"

Teaching our Eritrea and Thailand brothers how to grill

Just a little . . .

2011-09-23T11:28:00.000-07:00

. . . bit of the road that has brought me to where I am today. It's a rather one sided end of the story, because there are countless people, events, conversations, coffee breaks, late nights, and road trips that have completed and rounded out the story! Thanks for being a part of many of those!

I've played soccer since I was four years old, and half way through my collegiate career I asked God to reveal to me the redemptive power of soccer (if there was one), or to give me the strength to leave the game I loved to pursue more kingdom oriented activities. He opened the doors to travel to Brazil and work in Chicago through the Summer Academy, and in 10 powerful weeks he redeemed the game of soccer and set a new passion and purpose in my heart for the world through the game of soccer.

Since that first summer, I've returned to Brazil, studied abroad in Spain, ministered in Honduras, and coached in Cuba either specifically for sports ministry or heavily incorporating it along the way.

Currently I am serving as intern with MAI in Charlotte, helping out in their Urban Eagles program. Urban Eagles seeks to place players and coaches in marginalized and ethnically diverse neighborhoods in order to form relationships with kids and their families. Love is our motivation, discipleship is our method, and empowerment is our goal for each and every life involved in the Urban Eagles. Soccer practices, tutoring, Bible studies, trips for ice cream, playing video games, music, and simply sitting and talking are just a few of the ways we are seeing many lives changed.

Following the Lord's leading, we hope to launch the Urban Eagles in Chicago in 2012. I am sure of one thing, we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. May we be agents of his goodness and love. Psalm 27:13-14

A Saturday in the life!

2011-09-17T09:59:00.001-07:00

Game with team from Birchcroft,Parking Lot Soccer (video), the Woodbridge boys with Coach Paul

The Here and Now

2011-09-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

Over the summer I read a wonderful book by Henri Nouwen entitled Here and Now.It's a book I would recommend to anyone, honestly, it reads simply, and speaks powerfully to life in the moment. A concept that has really consumed my thoughts lately is the truth that God is the eternal "I am" . . . he is fully, and ever present. He exists in this moment because he fully existed in the last moment, and because this moment was fulfilled, he will be in the next moment. Last weekend, I spent lots of great moments with this wonderful girl, Jen.

And this weekend, and for the next three months, many moments are waiting to be fully filled on this soccer pitch with children who need love present in their lives

Sometimes the gravity of the "future" can be overwhelming: capitalizing opportunities, merging dreams, fulfilling your "call."Maybe the best way to capitalize, merge, and fulfill, is by simply being present in every moment. Live here and now, so that we will be able to live there and then. How requiring of trust. How growing of faith.May we always appreciate what's ahead, think gratefully of the past, and value relationships above all else.

Back . . . again

2011-08-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

Looking forward to firing up the blogging muscles again! It's been a while since I've blogged regularly, and I really want to get back into it at least on the weekly basis, so everyone can be hearing the stories of the months to come!

It's hard to believe that August has come and gone, summer is winding down, and the winds of fall are blowing in and bringing all sorts of changes with them. I wanted to take a few moments to detail the coming months for all of you who have played such a key role in supporting me in this adventure.

I leave this week for Charlotte, North Carolina to begin learning the finer points of the Urban Eagles ministry. For the next four months, I will be learning and participating in a ministry that is based on living in an area of need, and using a combination of soccer, after school programs, relational connections in the community, and discipleship to embody Christ and better the lives of all those present.

For one week in October, four members of the Eagles (including myself) will return to Cuba to continue the Sports Ministry Training that was started in January. It's clear that coaches can have a profound impact in the lives of youth, and we want to share what we have learned about the power of coaching with beginning coaches in Cuban soccer.

Your prayers for safe travel, quick learning, and a lasting impact are greatly appreciated over the coming months.

Check back regularly to hear stories from various neighborhoods and countries as God continues to change the world through simple people playing a simple game. Relationships change the world, may we do everything possible form relationships that better the lives of others, and point them to the one that created and exemplified the best life.

Peace,
Cody

Graduation-Thank You

2011-05-21T19:41:00.001-07:00

At approximately 12 noon today, the four year chapter of my life that has been college came to a close.
I would like to say thank you to everyone who contributed to these four years:

To Everyone who gave a lecture, sermon, smile, hug, laugh, coffee, critique, challenge, dollar, food, question, answer, tip, tear, time, and so much more . . .

Thank you.

You all have made the journey worth the while,

It has truly been a pleasure sharing life with you all.

#graduation
#laughsoyoudon'tcry ;-)

2 weeks left and a birthday

2011-05-09T04:18:00.001-07:00

With two weeks left in my college career, it was nice to take a break from the hubub and craziness and celebrate being born. Sometimes it's hard to celebrate having life inside of you, sometimes it's nice to have reminders from others that God creates intentionally, that life in relationship is worth celebrating.

Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes!
Here are some that made me laugh out loud, smile, or tear up, enjoy:

Cody, I hope your birthday is spectacular! I'm grateful to call you my friend. :)--JP

Happy Birthday bro n it's my prayer that God will continue to bless u n use u to do His work! Luv u n hope u enjoy this blessed day!!-kwame

Dear Best Friend, I have a really awesome Birthday Present for you... that i couldn't order cuz i need it to send to my apartment, which i had yet to know the address of =] .....hahahahaaha then i realized i could send it straight to your house and felt like a nerd bucket on ice. :D teeeee heee heeee heeee so u shall get it whenever i actually visit home.  (which should b around the 28th- OR, ill send it home with mo) REGARDLESS i hope today is wonderfully blessed by our amazing Savior. That you are filled with joy and grace! I love you dearly and miss u bunches.  ♥ T

CODY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDY! Hopefully I see you today so I can give you a big bear hug. hahaha. Have a great birthday my friend, enjoy this beautiful weather and great Friday! :)--Caleb Devolld

Happy Birthday Spud! It was a cold, drizzly day with spits of snow and a high of 43° that day, and I remember I was sick. But enough about you. We were so excited to have 4 generations of Snouffer men again...ahh heck, come home and I'll take you to dinner and tell you more about me when you were born :-) LOL...Dad

Remember that one time last year, a bunch of us went to an Italian restaurant and we ran into a famous futbolista for your birthday? Well, fb told me it's that time of the year again. :) ¡Feliz Cumpleaños Cody! Espero que tengas un día fantastico. I miss ya buddy! -Angelina

Cody Muchas felicidades!! Espero que la estes pasando muyyy bien !!! que Dios te bendiga y te regale muchos mas para seguir celebrando Un abrazo,-Daniel

Blessed with family and friends, so loving.

Easter Weekend

2011-04-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

I believe that God is one entity, manifested in three persons: Father God, Son Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit of Christ.

That these three have forever existed, and will forever exist, in perfect community and love.

That on Good Friday, Jesus of Nazareth was crucified, dead, and buried.

~

An entity that had eternally existed as three-in-one was now incomplete. I cannot imagine the pain of searing loss.

I cannot imagine the pull of love that transcended the cosmos, tore veils, quaked the earth trying to restore a relationship that had been lost.

A love that had been lost in a garden centuries before, now restored, and setting the example for centuries to come.

May God through this weekend create in us a love that transcends differences,
overcomes the broken world, and restores us to relationship,

unto God as unto one another.

Reflections

2011-04-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

Due to the terminal condition of my college career in the next few weeks, I'm going to dedicate the next weeks of posts to reflections on my college experience.

First reflection shall be on reflection:

The foto you see has been the typical morning hours in my apartment for the last two years. Sometimes there is company, sometimes it's just me and my thoughts. I've come to love the time I spend on my couch watching the campus wake up, while reading and meditating on scripture, enjoying coffee, and journaling reflecting on life as it appears that day. These morning hours have truly been invaluable, and they are practice I hope to carry in some form for the rest of my life.

The "end" of a temporal reference is a wonderful opportunity to reflect.The end of a day, the end of a trip, the end of a year, the end of a phase of life-I tend to wrestle with my feelings, thoughts, and emotions during these times in ways that are only magnified due to the terminal pressure.

With it being Holy Week, I wonder how reflective Jesus felt knowing it was the final week of his earthly life. How many people did he want to talk with one last time, how many bits of wisdom was he dying to empty himself of, what love had he left to show those closest to him, what would his final meal be? Did he have a bucket list?

I'm inclined to think Jesus' humanity was heavy this week, but his divinity was hopeful having an other worldly view and understanding of temporal references. He understood eternity. His vision was on the everlasting. . . the ever lasting.

How would conclusions and transitions be different if I thought eternally, not just of myself, but of everyone? everything?

Dancing

2011-04-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

If you took music and set it to this life, and were your actions poetic words,
You would have the ballad of all time that speaks of love.
You set the stage with a sunset sky and add the mountain peaks just for good measure.
You hold out your hand and ask me to dance, and we start to dance this waltz of righteousness.

If I'm to be your bride all dressed in white, I want to learn to follow you
As we go on and step in time to this waltz this dance of righteousness.
You say this love will last us for for all time. It washes me like the rolling seas.
So I'll lay here and I'll drown in you, and let your heart make and mold mine too.

The stars gather around to shine some light on your love, our relationship divine.

Because you did write us a symphony,
And you added your own words of love
That speak of just how much you feel for us.
It has been the perfect love song.

Sometimes . . .

2011-04-08T05:45:00.000-07:00

you just need to stay up,
sit on the couch with your friends,
and talk all night
about whatever may be on your mind:

Regrets, fears, epiphanies, joys, sorrows, appreciations,

So much power and peace in honest presence with friends. I think some call it community.

Put on love, which binds all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts since as members of one body, you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Today I am very thankful.

Want A Ride?

2011-04-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Over spring break I spent some time with Urban Eagles exploring their ministry and catching up with some good friends who are serving with them.

One afternoon, my friend Paul and I took a drive through the neighborhood to pick up some of the boys for soccer practice. You'd be surprised how many Nepali children fit in a Buick Lesabre.

Despite understanding more of the last conversation between chipmunks in the tree on my walk to class than i did of the children in the back seat of my car, never have i felt more comfortable or privileged to be driving a child to soccer practice.

There is something about abandoning the "cares of this world" to be present with a child, to watch them laugh, play, and joke, all for the sake of them calling you "friend."

I am strongly considering and seeking a partnership with Urban Eagles full time after college.

I am strongly committed to a summer with the Chicago Eagles (with whom I spent my summer in 2009)

If you are strongly committed to furthering relationships, holistic lifestyles, the kingdom, and want to do so through me, please click here:
Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who are committed to pilgrimage.

Why, thank you

2011-03-17T05:21:00.000-07:00

Thank you to progressive thinkers in the world, especially those who challenge religious doctrine and dogma, tilling the ground of conversation. Woe to us who then cast seeds of hostility, judgement, and discord from the locked, screened in porches of hearts without being covered in the dust of the field, or even our rabbi.

humble growth

2011-02-18T06:44:00.000-08:00

Ironically, easily one of my favorite moment in cartoon history happens to be the exact conversation I had with my Father this week:

~You seem so ashamed. Why are you ashamed?
> I don't feel ashamed, I'm not ashamed! I'm more prideful than ever.
~Pride is opposite of shame but its source. Humility is the only true antidote to shame.

::.I am the way that unfolds beneath your feet . . . if you humble yourself unto me, I will take care of you in the fullness of time.::

Mission Trip Recap

2011-02-06T20:41:00.000-08:00

I am sorry I was unable to provide daily updates during our time in Cuba, but we all felt the power of your prayers and figured our undivided presence with our brothers was the best option!

This was a mission trip unlike many others I had been on. We spent most of our time seated on a floor sharing our heart and passion for God’s ability to change lives through the relationship and ministry that soccer can be. It was truly encouraging to be surrounded by young men and women who had a passion to see people’s lives completed by Jesus Christ.

One of the concepts we emphasized on the trip was God’s continual presence. A few times we ventured out onto the soccer field to help conduct a training session and a match so that we could further emphasize Christ’s presence in the activity of the sport and how you can share the gospel through your excellence in action.

The other main emphasis of our time there was God’s restorative ability in and through family. The family entity has been beaten and battered by Satan, but relationship and family are the primary concern of God. Families can be a team, a mother-father-kid combination, a body of believers, and many other groups of people. The passage in Matthew 4 about being God’s beloved children in whom he takes great pleasure took root as one of our central passages through the week.

Leaving Havana was very difficult. We very much wanted to stay and continue helping and watching them better the lives of those around them. But, we know that their neighborhoods and youth are in good hands as the few that we came in contact with head to their context with numerous resources and a heart yearning to see the face of God in their world.

Thank you again for your prayer and support! It made the kingdom of difference for us. Be sure to know that God loves you and listens to your prayers! Continue to seek his face, and I hope we partner in ministry again soon!

excuse me can we talk?

2011-01-12T19:05:00.000-08:00

I am on the campus of maryland university in the city of college park, located with in the greater D.C. metro area.
That should be enough information for you to google map my exact where-abouts.

Part of the class I am taking involves milling about the post modern campus of maryland, striking up conversations with the students to see how they feel about life, without being "that guy" with a survey in my hand.

Traditionally i've been "that guy" with a boomerang in my hand, or a soccer ball on my foot, the occasional guitar/harmonica, and even the occasional hip hop dance routine (i made up one of those...but that's neither here nor there)...

..but this time i just decided to tackle it as a prospective student interested in learning about the UMD experience. I pitched myself as someone who is lost, a soon to be grad student, a wanna be transfer student, someone just curious for curiosities sake.

My last conversation of the day came on the second level of their student union. I had my phone out and pretended to be talking with my mother as i looked around for anybody who might be open to a conversation. This group of three made eye contact and when i abruptly hung up on my lack of phone call, i walked over and asked them if they were students and if i could ask them some questions.

It was fascinating to see how quickly one girl started explaining her life in terms of her christianity (not knowing anything about me the scruffy north faced inquirer).
All three of them went on to explain to me their christianity and invited me to sit with them as they waited for the fourth member who was leading the Bible study they were anticipating.

At which point i joined the circle and explained to them the fullness of my purpose there, seeking ministry opportunities, contemplating the future as a soon-to-be-graduate, desiring relationship for those who have none.

At the end of the bible study and after sharing a little bit more about what it was God was doing in our life as students and disciples who want to reach our world, Abby and Tamey explained to me that they had been feeling they were supposed to reach out to a guy in the student union. But they were nervous about how it would come across and why they needed to do so.

As they were finishing up the conversation, I walked up to them because they had a guy in their group and i was more comfortable getting the female perspective on the campus in a mixed group setting, i had also been praying for God to lead me to someone claiming christ on their campus to get another perspective on the campus state.

in the grand scheme of things, i don't know why i don't talk to random people more often. i tend to do so a lot...but its much more easy to look past the common bonds we all share of humanity, conversation, relational space, and focus on the vain differences that coule make the situation uncomfortable.

Ask someone to talk.

Never know who you'll meet.

how needy is a need

2011-01-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking lately about suffering and the needs of people.

And of myself.

Any time I think about my personal needs or ways in which I feel that I am suffering, I am quickly brought to thoughts of others in much less fortunate positions than myself, people who truly suffer.

people who pray the Lords prayer asking for daily bread.

people who read the matthew 5 and identify themselves as poor in spirit, people who mourn, people who hunger and thirst.

Is suffering comparable?

Is suffering relative?

Is suffering contingent upon our circumstances?

I don't know.

But God did not create suffering in the garden. And, what Satan established as oppression for God's most beloved creation, Christ turned into the ultimate stage of his love, fulfillment, and peace.

Both in Word and in Deed.

Perception

2011-01-03T11:09:00.001-08:00

I ask you to be imaginative with this one, and bend the words I am not able to use effectively to convey what it is in my mind, so that you may be able to perceive and think about what could be.

I'm sitting in a window seat of a coffee shop/bookstore in downtown Delaware, Ohio. It's a brisk, yet sunny day with a stiff breeze blowing.

I like window seats, because although I'm supposed to be reading words on a page and thereby integrating and correlating them between the consciousness of an author and myself, I am able to look outside and take in the tangible realities that make up my home town.

Two people have walked by the coffee shop window twice now, I do not know their names, story, or purpose, but they have captured my attention for the last 30 minutes. The first time they walked by, I immediately noticed that the girl was blind and the man was not. I found it interesting that the man did not feel the need to walk in close proximity to the girl he was accompanying, but opted to let her walk on her own.

The man perceives the street scape the way I do: cars, buildings, shops, people, brick, metal.
The girls perceives the city as bumps, textures, surfaces, lack of surface, contours.

They were not arm in arm, they were not even side by side, for all of the girl's perceptive abilities the man was not there unless he spoke. Or, if he reached out to touch her.

Then I started thinking.

What if I am blind and navigating the world that God perceives.

What if instead of buildings, cars, shops, people (etc), God sees Opportunities, Joy, Peace, Love, Relationship, Community, Fellowship, Grief...

...in a world that I am blind to outside of voice and touch?

I watched as the girl bumped her walking stick into the glass window front of the bookstore, follow the contour to the door, open the door and enter the bookstore and stop by a the first chair she found.

"Where are you?" asked the man.
"I am here!" replied the girl.
"How do you know?" responded the man.
"I can see books....I can feel books"

Merry Christmas, Jesus

2010-12-26T18:58:00.000-08:00

It's a season dedicated to consciously voicing the presence of Jesus. Emmanuel.
Wanted to post a few more thoughts about all that this "with us" could have entailed for Christ.

I was sitting around the dinner table looking at my family and thinking how beautiful the picture was. The picture was beautiful in spite of all the brokenness and shortcomings that is a Family. In his taking on bodily form, Jesus got to experience this beauty. This is a beauty he had not experienced as pure divinity. His familiar existence within the trinity was perfect in the truest sense of communion and love.

I wonder what it was like for Jesus to experience communion and love in the overcoming-of-brokenness sense that his humanity offered. I long for the day when I am able to experience true fellowship, true love, true peace, but I think there is a beauty in the repossessing power of perfecting love in humanity.

Merry Christmas

ymca

2010-12-22T21:17:00.000-08:00

Went to the Y today to run and train.

Met a boy named Nathis.

He asked if he could play soccer with me.

He was 8.

He thought I was in High School.

His mother asked if he was a bother.

He "LOVES" soccer.

me too

more from emmanuel

2010-12-19T21:48:00.000-08:00

Something about holiday seasons seems to make one aware of couples.

or being single.

Then I try to remember: Emmanuel

God with us.

Is loneliness or a feeling of isolation a failure to live in the promise of emmanuel?

Is a failure to promote emmanuel?

Maybe if we understood that God was with us, we would have our hands so relationally full loneliness would be a foreign concept to us.

Sweet and Simple

2010-12-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

As per the usual post after 4 months of inactivity...I do want to continue blogging. I am going to attempt a shorter blog style though.

Just blurbs.

Thoughts.

Muses.

To be shared by all.

Todays' thought and blurb::

Irish music, though having no genetic connection or cultural tie to me, makes me want to dance.
Or at the very least stamp my foot and clap my hands.
It's good for the soul.

to read what i have been blogging the last four months do click here!

Live the Emmanuel!

Slow Reflections of the Racing Time

2010-08-17T19:29:00.000-07:00

So in pondering and reflecting the last leg of my trip to Honduras, I began to wonder how I would summarize everything here in the blogosphere for all to read and ponder and critique. I reread my traditional "plane ride home" Journal entry the other day and have decided that the entry best summarizes my thoughts and reflections of my near 6 weeks spent in Honduras.

Enjoy

"Well I'm watching Honduras disappear from my sight as the plane continues to climb and progress. Yesterday was probably one fo the most interesting "last days" I've ever had anywhere, very calm, routine, nothing extra, which was kinda nice. Just enjoyed the time and company playing games with the kids while they waited on the doctors who had come to check up on them. A peculiar day, but peaceful.

This morning I got to say Good-Bye to all of the kids during the morning devotion time. It was nice to share with them one last time. I shared the Story about the boy who traveled to show off his beautiful heart, but in the process realized the only way to beautify a heart is by sharing and exchanging pieces of it with others. I Hope they got the gist of the message, and they continue looking for people to share and open up with too. It has to be much easier and natural for them to hide and guard their hearts as the last keepsake that is truly theres, but I'm convinced that Jesus Christ heals the hurts that cause these responses and will continue to provide opportunities for them to open, share, love, grow, and heal.

As I've wandered the globe the last 6 months and thought and prayed about different ministry options for the future, Sports Ministry has been begging me for action in every city and place I go. All my eyes see are kids to connect with through soccer, teams that need a team to practice against and encounter Christ in the process. I definitely want to stay involved in the orphanage process, a few different ways come to mind, but I'm going to wait and see how the Lord shapes that desire in the coming years and experiences.

I'm rather glad i do not know exactly what I want out of the future currently. I think if I were currently sold out to an idea I might miss a lot of other opportunities that could come. Its tough to pick something up if your hands are already full. For now i will seek to have empty hands.

Definitely excited to be home again. I battled homesickness for the first time in my life in these last 5 weeks. Its been cool to see how much family and friends really do matter to me. I knew they mattered, but the actual face and quality time that I've missed out on the last 6 months will certainly be more cherished than it ever has been. Hard to imagine I only know 2010 in other countries with limited stays in the United States. The Lord has been incredibly good and has protected and guided like only he can."

Truly grateful

Dr. Office

2010-07-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

If you read the last post and felt any concern about the "rash from head to toe" sign of time in Honduras, this is the fitting followup and conclusion of the story.

After a few more days of watching the rash spread, get worse, and slowly eat away at the surface area of my skin, we decided a trip to the doctor would be the best bet. Upon entering the doctors office, the receptionist told me that i would have to wait for about 60-90 minutes to see the doctor. We decided it would be worth it, so we took a seat and began the waiting process.

Since i got off the bus, i did my best to ignore the staring eyes that were burning through my already burning skin. I started trying to think of reasons why people would be staring...here are a few of the choices/reasons they had.

-I am over six feet tall and therefore a minimum of 8 inches taller than the next tallest person in the room
-I walked in with a girl who claims to be 5ft tall but i've yet to see proof...making her a minimum of 5 inches shorter than the next short person
-I am white and have this pink leopard print rash going on
-I have not cut my hair in 8 months and have a fro that would make Ludacris jealous.
-Because I'm lighter toned than the rest of the world down here, and coupled with my hair appearance, many think i look like world champion soccer stud Puyol.
-I'm sitting on the floor not a chair
-My other 20+ year old friend and i are playing eye spy while we wait

i concluded that if you are going to go in public and be subject to staring...make sure only ONE thing is strange or abnormal about you. That way, you'll know why people are staring and not suffer the self conscious anxiety i did for the next 2 hours we waited.
Good news is, the 2+ hour wait paid off, the rash is gone, I'm feeling healthy and ready to go for my last week here in Honduras.

Not particularly looking forward to a week long goodbye to these kids who've left a pretty big mark on my heart. But everything has its season, and the next season of my life (tentatively titled SENIOR YEAR) is about ready to begin, there a long and slow goodbye starts now, and will conclude on thursday!

One more update on the missions trip experience to come upon arrival in the US. Til then, thanks for reading, praying, and supporting me all along the way!

You've been in Honduras for a Month when...

2010-07-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

... you're covered head to toe in a mysterious rash
...you have more spiderbites than moles and or freckles...and i have a lot of freckles
...you casually respond to a greeting that literally translates as "what's the Fart"
...you don't count calories, you just count tortillas
...you run to grab a jacket at night because it's down to 80 degrees
...you don't remember how to kick a soccer ball that has air in it..or what real goals look like
...you have written a song about the power going out to the tune of "here comes the bride" with the niños
...guests in your class come in the size and shapes of gekos, frogs, turtles, cats
...you fear reincarnation due to the way you have treated all the creepy crawlies that are in your room
...you're constantly surrounded by kids who want to laugh, sing, climb trees, or at the very least say your name just because it still sounds funny to them.

Crazy to think that it's almost been a month since i got here, even tougher to think that i have less than 2 weeks left here in San Lorenzo. I have definitely enjoyed the time, and learned a lot about myself and the God we serve...and what it means to be a kid. My patience has been stretched, my amusement has been peaked, lived, laughed, loved, and cried. I'll update one last time next week before returning home, but heres something i've been wondering and want to ask everyone.

In a world where you are the biggest and the strongest and that is the only way respect is won...what other ways are there to maintain control and respect amongst followers who don't believe in control or respect outside of size and strength?
open to thoughts!!!

The Daily Stretch in Honduras

2010-07-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

Another week come and gone and another week of experiences from within the Centro Desarrollo Integral Vida Abundante. Here’s a lil bit of what the daily life looks like and the thoughts that have been running through my mind this week.

The Daily:
--Wake up a lil before 6am and hit the road for a lil jog. Typically around the banana farm that the kids work in, but lately I’ve been branching out a lil and braving the roads for a lil bit of the jog. To everyone who has ever critiqued my driving…compared to the Hondurans, I drive perfectly! So running on the road is more of Frogger Live than a cardiovascular work out! ;-)
--7ish Have a lil breakfast and coffee and devotional in the kitchen with Doña Carmen (our wonderful cook).
--9ish Teach English class to the High School aged students. So far been working on the pronunciation and present perfect tense. (Have no idea what I`m talking about…they don’t either…but they’re learning quickly!)
--After class I typically teach some guitar lessons and help out around the grounds until the lil kids get back from school and we all have lunch.
--2pm have class with Adolfo who we think has Autism or some other learning disabilities, its been challenging working with him, but we’re really building a pretty good relationship based around fotos and music.
--4pm have class with the elementary students. This has been the greatest challenge for me. Teaching Young competitive boys who don’t listen to well but love to contribute to conversations has often been the toughest part of my day. But, poco a poco, slowly, the class is coming together and they are learning.
--the rest of the day is spent playing soccer, climbing trees and eating mangos, guitar worship, and helping with all sorts of homework assignments.

Really been thinking and praying a lot about where I will be doing ministry in the future. This year has been a pretty good trial run of the places I would like to live and the things I would like to do. I’m still processing it all and haven’t come to any conclusions in the grand scheme of things. But in reading Joshua this week, I was overwhelmed by this sense of God working it all together in my promise land and my future like he did for Joshua and Israelites. I think its fascinating that not only was God there with the Israelites in their immediate situation, but he was ahead of them in the land they would be going preparing it for them. Comforting. Amazing. Stretching in the wait. But that’s our God.

Thanks for reading, more to come soon!

Week one in Honduras

2010-07-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

Well it’s officially been one week here in Honduras, and if you had told me some of the stuff I would have experienced by now, I wouldn’t have believed you.

For example:
Eating a plethora of random fruits thrown to me by boys who just hopped out of a tree…so far they have all been quite good…especially mamones…it’s a tiny little fruit you suck on for a long time…I’d take it over gum any day!

Teaching English. Like running 3 classes a day with boys between the ages of 6 and 17. The third class of which is a one on one with a boy who I think has autism…he speaks some Spanish…and makes up the rest in whatever language he thinks he speaks. He really enjoys playing guitar with me, but I might need more guitar strings by the time he gets done slamming on them “mas duroo” (HARDER!!!)

Waking up at 6 a.m. after having slept 8 hours. To avoid the heat they Hondurans wake up around 5 to start the day…the kids here at the orphanage included. They do their chores, hw, and have English class all before going to school. Everyone goes to bed pretty early too to avoid the mosquitoes and various other night crawlers we’ve spotted.

Needless to say it’s been quite the experience here, and there’s still so much more to write and experience. I want to finish with two things that have really blown me away.

1. Everyone here who is serving the Lord in one way or another consider themselves to be so blessed to have the opportunity to serve. Those who aren’t yet in fulltime service can’t wait to be and are doing everything possible to free up more time to serve. What a blessing it is to serve.
2. The power of music and worship. Of all the things the Lord has equipped me with, the guitar is probably the one I am most thankful for. From day one here in Honduras we have had some form of worship. The boys absolutely love it. So far their favorites have been Mighty To Save, Trading my Sorrows, and The Stand . . . and I can’t even describe the way my heart feels to see 12 boys who have experienced more of the dark side of the life than I could even imagine trading it all in for the glory of the Lord, being willing to stand with their hands high and hearts abandoned because their God is mighty to save.

I appreciate all the prayers, for sure they have helped…I am still searching for wisdom and guidance from the Lord in my teaching time here, and ways to lead the boys toward kingdom in thought, word and deed.

Home is where the Heart is...Shared

2010-05-06T00:39:00.000-07:00

I know it´s been a while...and i am sorry...but here are snippets of the thoughts i wanted to turn into full length posts over the last 2 months

enjoy. ponder. respond.

In Spain, my señora randomly decided to whip up a new dish of something and place it before my roommate and i to see how we liked it and what we'd do with it...usually after the meal she'd tells us what was in it and how she made it and why it was good for us...wonder if God does the same...

Largo me lo Fías es a quote from one of my favorite spanish dramas...it means that is still a long way off...for now i´m going to live today...granted the character who said it had different motives but there´s something to living now and letting tomorrow take care of itself...

Along the same lines, yesterday gets farther and farther away, so the sooner we can file its events, successes, and failures where they go the quicker we can move on in the now we live in...

i chew my lip when i drive stick shift...but only when i shift...clutch, shift, chew lip, gas/release clutch, release lip...smooth sailing...

i do not like the word "back" especially in reference to the location "back here"....here is entirely relative to where you are...and when i was there, there was my here and your here was my there...so i don't at all know how to answer that question...and if i'm "back" then where was "front"?

"back home" also gets me really riled up...i have lots of homes, the soccer field at MVNU, my deceased Ford Escape, the kitchen table at my now burnt house, the kitchen bar in my current new house, Parque de los Prinicpes en España, the patio at Starbucks at Polaris, Birch 210 living room, Little Village Chicago, my guitar....all of those places are home...i guess because that's where my heart is...but really my heart is in my chest...so i really don't know where home is . . . i think home is the place you want to take people because it's where you can share your heart(s) . . . so maybe home is where the heart is shared?

you should sit outside and watch a storm...a really big and beautiful storm...and play an instrument... or do something that is an outward manifestation of your soul....

i don't think i can truly be in a relationship til i understand the depth and fulness and completeness of being single...so til then...

i'm slowly beginning to understand why cats sit and stare...not that i can explain it... but i don't think they can either

that's it for now...hope that got your gears turning a lil..i will try to be more blog consistant in the future and coming time references!

God's like Coffee

2010-03-29T04:16:00.000-07:00

There's a song here in spanish that a line that goes something like "como te anhelo a ti Señor"

anhelo

i didn't know what this word meant...but i gathered from context that it had something to do with desire and longing for something else...then i looked it up

i was right, it means longing, yearning, desires...but on the physical level...

Emotionally

Spiritually,

...

Physically....

Do i desire God and my relationship with Christ physically?

¿Anhelo a Dios?

do we ever grow up?

2010-03-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think about how much you’ve changed since you were a child? I mean really how far you’ve actually come in the grand scheme of things? It’s pretty crazy to think about the development of the mind and personality over time.

I’ve been playing soccer a few days a week in the park here in Sevilla. It’s a great chance to get to meet people and play the worlds’ favorite sport…but even though I’m playing with people ages 18-50 years old, I strangely feel like I’m back on the play ground in elementary school…particularly 3rd or 4th grade. Character sketch time:

The kid who brings the ball:: Everyone knows and loves him he brings the ball, he makes the rules, he picks his team first, and they play when they want to.

The kid who brings the ball’s best friend:: no one really likes this kid, but everyone puts up with him because his best friend brings the ball…he usually whines a lot and can’t take a foul…if the kid who brings the ball doesn’t pick him he’s usually the second team that plays and they just aren’t ever quite as good.

The big kid:: you know that kid who is bigger than everyone else in every way imaginable, thinks he’s hilarious, everyone laughs at his jokes because if you don’t he’ll pound you…he always trips cause he hasn’t grown into his body…but that’s your fault not his, this is also the kid who always talks to the members of the opposite sex because he’s the big kid and it the cool thing to do.

The brothers:: you know that dynamic trio that win everything they all set out to do together…unless their fighting with one another in which case they break up into separate teams and urn the soccer field into a grudge match.

You’ve got the young kid:: you know the kid who’s like a lil brother to everyone else, but super hyper talented, everyone wants him on their team partly for the novelty of having the small one on their team, and partly because legitimately he’s the best and the only one who has any potential or future in the activity going on.

Then you have the kids from the other school:: I count myself and the kids from Paraguay in this bunch…we don’t get much street cred because we’re not from this neighborhood, but a few of the usuals know us so they let us play on their playground as long as it’s okay with the kid with the ball and we don’t make the big kid too angry.

And so pass the hours…score 2 before the other team does and you stay…call your own fouls…when on the side kindly heckle those who are playing and you know well enough to tease without losing your face…and pass the skittles and juice box (or in this world cigarette and cruzcampo) down the sideline…

Do we grow up? Or do we just find more grown up things to be immature about?

Why and what have you changed in your life?

Has Christ changed your life?

Judge Correctly

2010-03-17T01:34:00.000-07:00

So this post is a lil of what i´ve been learning about myself in the last month...it´s kinda gonna come to you in points and then filled out slightly...i guess maybe look for yourself in it somewhere...and then go from there

-I grew up in a christian family and attended a christian school..that factors into this whatever ammount it does. More than anything it factors into the way i reacted to it all and have lived my life for the last 10 years or so...no ones to blame, it´s just part of the nature vs nurture vs God that went into making me who i am.

-Growing up i was realatively accustomed to uniforms and clean hair cuts...this way noone is subject to external judgement by peers...i think i relatively agree with this practice...hence my strange style and dress outside of the regualted uniforms and clean hair cuts...i just don´t know what to do with freedom i guess ;)

-Because exterior judging was off limits growing up (it´s not biblical anyway) i feel like i adopted a biblical judgment perspective...your soul...i became a motive analyzing, heart shape critiquing, spiritual barometer for my friends...and consequently assumed others were acting the same way towards me.

-If people are judging you "correctly"...pleasing them should be pleasing to God right?

-Where does accountability factor in to all of this? If you see someone (a brother) sinning you must have come to a conclusion (judge) that what they are doing is contrary to the Bible...

-we are told not to judge les we therefore be judged, but we are called to keep one another accountable and correct sin issues in the lives of our brothers

...:::...

I think all of these thoughts combined with my nautural desire to please people coupled with my internal drive for perfection (sometimes in unhealthy...and now i think unbiblical ways) created a spirit in me that sought to please and glorify the right judges...who are not the right judge...and are not always right with the judge...

does your head hurt yet...cause mine still isn´t completely wrapped around all of my thoughts here...

I guess my bottom line is this...Please God...and from there i would want to say that the right people will be pleased...but that just doesn´t even matter...please God with your life and love those who are in your life (because that is pleasing to God)...and i think the accountability will come then from the love you have for God and therefore the other person as well.

yea...just thoughts...let me know yours perhaps now!?

until next time live a life worthy of your calling, be completely humble and gentle. be patient, bearing with one another in love. and keep unity in the spirit through peace-eph 4:1-2

A week in the Life

2010-03-12T05:36:00.000-08:00

I think i might be getting worse at updating this thing, which saddens me, cause i've always got so many things i want to purpose or elaborate on or just say to whoever may read this in hopes that it has some sort of impact!

But i figured this post i'd dedicate to telling everyone what exactly has been going on in my life the last 2 months...because outside of knowing that i'm in spain not too many people have an idea what i'm actually doing here, so strap yourselves in and buckle up, cause the day starts on monday::

MONDAY:::
Wake up and enjoy some bible reading time while eating some toast and drinking a concoction of Cola-Cao (their version of hotchocolate) and khave instant coffee (when mixed in the wrong proportions the resulting jitters are quite life inhibiting...but funny)
Classes usually begin around 10 and finish about 1:30. A little bit of Cultural History Class, a Dash of Spanish Short stories, through in some Romantic Spanish Lit, and conclude the class session with realizing that i have NO GRASP WHATSOEVER of spanish grammar and there you have the school day monday through friday.

Afternoons Monday are great, because i get to kinda've relax, do some internet talking in a cafe, maybe enjoy the packed bocadillo (sandwich) by the fountains or in a park, then it's time to hop the closes bus to the Eastern Sevilla where I teach (along with awesome friends Ele and Steven) a group of kids. It's a lot of fun to play games helping them practice their english and just goof off and be kdis with them. courtyard soccer has become one of our favorite "review" games...meaning we review as quickly as possible so we can get to the games...haha everyone loves recess!!

After tutoring it's back to the university to take my favorite class of the program....dun dun dun...FLAMENCO!!! Yes that's right folks Cody's got two left feet and no sense of spanish rhythm but as one of 3 guys in the flamenco class i play a real Don Juan and Dance my way around the room to the tune of classical spanish guitars and cajón drumming dressed to the max in all black...as if that mental image isn't enough for you imagine me tripping about 3 steps in to the 4th paso in the Sevillana and falling flat on my face...

like i said...monday's are great!!! ;-)

TUESDAY
repeat the same class schedule, Add in prolly my favorite lunch of the week (IDK why, but my señora's lunches on tuesdays just rock the world...ps lunch is the main meal here in spain..we're talking 3 courses of delicious olive oiled goodness...complete with octopus! ;-)) Tuesday is also nice cause it's the only day i usually don't have anything after lunch and siesta (oh yea we all take naps here!!) so i usually head to the park nearby and play some futbol sala (or soccer on a basketball court) it's a ton of fun and a lil dangerous sometimes so i'll throw a post up about that sometime, but it's really cool to meet and interact with a bunch of spanish guys on their playground.

WEDNESDAY
might be my favorite day of the week. Classes are the same, lunch again is always great, but wednesday night the key and beauty is ENCUENTRO, which is like our version of college kid youth group. Lots of music, great testimonies from students, good words from outside pastors and missionaries...just good community start to finish!

THURSDAY
More or less a repetition of Tuesday, but we have prayer guys group on Thursday. We've been working on James since we've got here...and we have yet to even talk about the first chapter because everytime we get together the Lord just takes over, we start pouring our heart out and praying for eachother, and then the time is over...but i really think that's a good thing. We make our agendas, then the Lord directs our steps. I'll take that any day. There's only 8 guys here on the trip in the program, so getting some good guy time is always a blessing and a joy. Nice to laugh and share about everything going on in our minds and hearts. Really blessed to have such a good group of guys here to walk and grow with.

FRIDAY
I love the whole concept of "Friday's should be weekends..so lets not have class" because unless we have a trip or something that forces us to have class on Friday, friday's might as well be saturdays! I'ts great! Friday nights has a youth group service outside of the city that we go to with some friends from our sunday morning church. it's with guys from this group that i played in a soccer tournament with a few weeks ago (CAMPEONES!!!) It's cool to see a group of 30 teenagers who take their faith seriously in a country with less than 1% of the population believing in God...that's a statistic worth shattering.

SATURDAY
Great day to relax and just kick back. Wake up, go for a jog, sit in the park, throw rocks at pigeons, eat some lunch, take a nap, take a stroll to any of the monumental parks in the city, grab some tappas (like appetizer bar hopping), find somewhere to listen to some music or dance the night away.

SUNDAY
We go to a church really close to my house sunday mornings. Super relaxed service. Like they put a slide up with song options and the congregation calls out which ones they want to sing in between stand up testimonies and devotionals Then theres a message from one of the pastors and that's it as far as routined Sunday goes. Lots of fun to take walks sunday afternoons, usually do a lil bit of hw, try to skype with some buds from back home, just enjoy sabbath doing whatever comes the way.

So that's life in spain, at least what life is spain has been for the last few months. Time to take off for one of those Spanish 3 course lunches i was talking about earlier,tune in next time for my psychoanalysis of adults playing soccer in a park together...you won't be disappointed! until then love the moment and the people in it!

shine on

Continuation of thoughts from weeks ago

2010-02-23T14:30:00.000-08:00

I’ve been waiting to write this blog hoping that my thoughts on this subject would finally resolve and come to a neat conclusion…

….unfortunately that is not the case, but my thoughts are more developed than they were and hopefully will make some sense when you read them.

In my last post I proposed the question
¿What acceptable measures/steps can you take into another culture without compromising the others?

I asked this question because being here in Spain I have been exposed to cultures previously I thought were conflicting. Such as going to the nearest bar after youth group to sit and talk about everything in life and God. When asked what I would like to drink, I usually respond with one of the following
Café con leche- (a laté of sorts)
Agua de grifo (tap water that is free)
Or when I’m feeling frisky
Fanta con Limon (cause everyone wanta fanta)

Although these answers usually fly fine, they are usually followed up with another question: You don’t want a cerveza? And this is where my responses get comical::
-I’m too young (that’s just not the case here in spain…my friends have been drinking since they were 13…and correctly at that…and legally I’m of age here)
-I don’t like it (I haven’t tried it…so that’s just a lie…I don’t know if I would like it)
-I just don’t want one (I mean that is true but them is just saying, I’d prefer not to breathe oxygen today if that’s alright with you)
-I’m an athlete (This one is understood…but only really when I explain that I’m a collegiate athlete who receives money for his efforts…cause everyone here is an athlete…of sorts)

If none of those have worked, I usually then just go with the strange head shake and shrug with a strange perplexed look on my face that tends to end the conversation pretty effectively.

It’s not that I think drinking is bad…I don’t see any problems when it is done healthily and correctly…unfortunately largely thanks to the foreign student influence here in spain the native youth culture have discovered the phenomenon of drinking to get drunk…this is where I have problems, my heart breaks, and luckily none of my local friends participate. I don’t fault family or institutions that have helped raise me…but I have an incorrect view of alcohol. I’m working on piecing together a correct one, but until then my goal is to not judge people (in general a good thing to avoid) but specifically in regards to lifestyles that are cultural and biblically not sinful.

A light shines brightest when it is lit and fueled well in a dark place…and then joined by others like it

¿Perdoname...eres Americano?

2010-02-01T00:45:00.000-08:00

:::Cultures I belong to:::

Kingdom of God-pursuit of Christ-like holiness and community

Student-pursuit of knowledge

American-pursuit of everything we deem our own, pursuit of “love:/satisfaction

Soccer-pursuit of health, and healthy competition and relation

Music-pursuit of connecting globally rhythmically/melodically

Sevillana- Pursuit of relationship and “love” primarily through bar culture (bar being a restaurant that has a bar in it somewhere, alcohol, coffee, and tapas (tapas are delicious appetizer sized main dish samplers) abound…open at 10pm close at 3am…this is the norm…and the reason for siesta)

Foreign-pursuit of maintaining a sense of identity while attempting to blend in

Kingdom of God-pursuit of bringing Christ’s likeness into the immediate world I live in

¿What acceptable measures/steps can you take into another culture without compromising the others?

Please respond…

I have lots of thoughts….

But I want to hear yours first

Welcome to Sevilla

2010-01-22T23:44:00.000-08:00

Just so everyone knows, I’m ALIVE! And doing quite well—and surprisingly no less addicted to coffee than when I arrived less than 72 hours ago! (that should cover all the major questions everyone would have….OH and I’m still single [haven’t been to Barcelona yet! ;-)])

We arrived here in Sevilla, España Thursday morning sin problemas! (other than the usual crik in the neck from flying!) God blessed me with the opportunity to hang out and see the Eagle likes of Val (and fam), Mary, Rick, Leo, Mandy, Taylor, Brady, Alan, Ken, and Erin Monday and Tuesday before leaving Wednesday. It was so good to see them before leaving, definitely helped center myself and remind me of why I breathe and do anything that I do-proclaim the good news.—everything is a platform—and sometimes I forget, and I don’t want to forget, not ever…and especially not now that I am here in a city that is so lost and hungry for something to fill it up….because I don’t care how good the wine and olives are, they aren’t doing the trick!

That being said, spending my last two days in the US with eagles and my dad was a perfect send off. At the airport (no…my one suitcase did not make weight…I tried so hard!!! and even put some stuff in my guitar case and emily’s carry on-but it was still too big…oh well…just need to buy another bolsa here to take back with me! 8-)) (still with me…”at the airport”) I got to meet about half of the group that is here studying with us. Some really good instant connections with a lot of kids! Yea we’re quirky and come from different places, but I think after a semester we will all be pretty close!

Un poquito de la casa, ciudad, y la mama! My roommate and I live in a small, ground floor apartment in a neighborhood called “Los Remedios” it is the quaintest little 1 floor apartment you ever did see, complete with non-working bathroom/shower/toilet the first 2 days…you would be amazed at how long you can hold off your bathing necessities….it may not be healthy but something everyone should test and find their limits! I don’t know if I was at my limits, but I was very happy to take my first non-hot-water-heated-on-the-stove-and-poured-into-a-bucket shower tonight after 3 days! That being said our host mom is nothing shy of a saint, she’s a good cook and puts up with Nelson and I ruining her native language! (Definitely be praying for sharing opportunities in my home-I know they are coming and are definitely needed!)

Finally-I’m sure you’re about as tired of reading this as I am of typing it at 2:15AM—THIS CITY IS BEAUTIFUL! I’ll try to upload some fotos before I post this, but seriously, I’m casually walking by things such as the Guadalquivir River, La Plaza España, el Torro de Orro, La Catedral de Sevilla y much more on my way to class….we’re talking timeless classic destinations here folks—and it’s just part of the landscape hat will be my next 4 months! SO BLESSED!

Welp, that should be sufficient for now, thank you for reading and thank you for the prayers, I’ll try to alternate between activity/location updates and spiritual/stream of thought posts! Until next time, have a clean heart and a strong hope! Hasta Pronto!

Fotos are of the Plaza España y de la Catedral de Sevilla

like a phoenix with a heart ache

2010-01-14T12:50:00.000-08:00

Fortunately, being absent from blogging means i have been present in relating to the real world. But there have been plenty of things pinging around in my mind i wish i had written more of them down for you all to view and respond to, but alas here's an update to begin the return from the blogging ashes.

The main reason for returning is the fact that in just 5 days I will be on a plane headed to Spain for the next 4 1/2 months. Studying in a university is the primary reason i will be going, but I am also incredibly excited about an opportunity to live in a culture that captured my heart 3 years ago.

I'll be posting comicals and thoughtfuls here from the coming months for you to read as you please.

Act on what you believe in today, cause what's the point in believing something if you don't act on it?

Perhaps . . . it is time for . . . and coffee

2009-10-08T20:12:00.000-07:00

I feel the unrelenting need to apologize for my lack of blog activity. Seriously, there is no excuse. Countless times in the last month (plus) i have read something in my quiet time, or had a random thought pop into my head that i thought merited being blogged about, but alas, nothing to show for over a month. UNLESS of course you've been reading up on my COUGAR SOCCER BLOG or perhaps you've been checking up on the EXTENDED MELODY PROJECT website in anticipation for this coming show on October 30th.

But just in case you haven't been keeping up on either of those, here's what's been going on in my mind::

Thoughts of accountability...manhood...servanthood...childhood...christ-hood

Thoughts of beauty-seriously, have you looked outside lately? you might have to see past a few rain drops once in a while, but this summer fall transition has been absolutely beautiful!

Thoughts about how i miss spain with everything that is within me and cannot wait to leave for my favorite country in just a mere 3 months.

Thoughts about how dearly i will miss my apartment mates and friends here on campus while abroad this spring.

Thoughts about ministry-why we wait for it, why i'm not pursuing more ministry opportunities with people...why i'm involved in the ministries i am involved in.

Maybe i will try to elaborate on a few of these in later posts, if i get on a normal posting schedule! But in parting, here is probably the biggest thing i have learned and sought to apply to my life::: God is always in control (look at the creation narrative, jesus in the boat with his disciples, or revelation), and sometimes when we lose control, i think it is his way of doing us a favor and re-placing the control into his hands. Because he knows what to do with the control...and he can handle everything that he has put into our lives.

walk by faith

All roads lead to somewhere

2009-09-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

So right now in the life of Cody, I feel as if I am at a cross roads of sort...but not one that so much requires me to drastically turn ninety degrees to the left or to the right or boldly trudge on dead ahead. No, no this crossroad is more of a realization of the subtle divergences from the main path that I am on...most of which continue me in the more or less same(ish) direction the I am headed.

Sometimes I think...well they're all going the same direction...it doesn't really matter which path I'm on...other times i obsess about the road not traveled and how that one made all the difference...

One night last week, i was thinking about all these different paths and if i should subtly slide to the next path and which path God would want me on at this point...then something hit me..."ASK HIM"...i spend so much time thinking about what jesus would do, what God's will is for my life...that SO many times i just forget to look at him and ask "what is it you want me to do?"...i claim to believe in a Loving, Living, and Acting God...yet so often i treat him like the heavily influential father who died tragically to early in the plot and left his son to carry on his legacy (think startrek, starwars, lion king)

Then I read Genesis 12:1-4

And not only does God answer the question "what do you want me to do" but his answer goes above and beyond what i often remember to live by.

Go from...to...and I will(4x's)...So...

God will tell us what to do...and so often i feel like the verb he wants us to do is just "GO"...don't worry about the destination, the way, the money, the people...He'll take care of all of that (the 4 "I will..."s)...all we gotta do is Go::

humbling and challenging...i don't think the road or destination matters (at least it shouldn't to me)...cause i'll never get there unless i go!

?when the time is right...whatcha gonna do?

2009-08-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

Been reading in the book of Genesis lately...thought it would be fitting to read about the beginning of the world around the beginning of the school year...makes sense right?

Anyway, i find the phrase at the end of Genesis 4, specifically verse 26 that says "at that time, men began to call on the name of the LORD."

Also grabbing my attention was verse 22 of chapter 6, "Noah did everything just as God commanded him."

...if you have the time...you should read everything that happened prior to genesis 4:26...we're talking creation, getting kicked out of the garden, naming lots of animals, having children, murder...and THEN mankind begins to call upon the name of the LORD.

?!?!?!

Now, noah had a pretty specific set of instructions...not quite etched in stone, but he blatantly heard the word of the Lord telling him to do some things, and it's a good thing he did them otherwise a few animals might not have fit on the boat, or worse it would have sunk 15 days into the global sailing expedition.

but what a difference in our tendencies...to experience countless things then look to God and try to include him in our lives....or to follow everything he says, just as he says...

which pattern do you follow more regularly...
what would your life look like if you followed the other...
are you comfortable calling on God prior to calling on any other source and then following exactly whatever it is he asks you to do.....?

just some late night thoughts on the beginnings...that ironically still apply to me here somewhere in the late middle

:::Pour a ::Drink:: and Rejoice:::

2009-08-05T10:22:00.000-07:00

i am currently on day 3 home and separated from the people i spent the last 63 days ministering with through the context of sports...it truly was an amazing summer, and i am quite grateful for the experiences we had together, and the way God chose to reveal himself to us day and night.

sometimes after a period of time of intensive ministry (why it's an intensive period of time i may blog and critic later) it is tough to maintain the energy and purpose that was present during the ministry. i do not like the peak to peak view of the christian walk, but prefer to view it more as a continual uphill climb...and at times we are in environments and with people that expedite the climb...and when we are out of that environment and without those people we have to really dig our heals in to keep climbing.

The morning after i arrived home from Chicago, i opened my bible to hear from the Lord, and Philippians 2:12-18 leaped out at me and cried to be written about.

Right away, Paul is talking about his separation from the believers in Philipi, and he challenges them to dig in, to work out their salvation even though they are apart. "what does the cross compel you to do?" Does our relationship with God call us to action, to work at showing that we have a relationships with Christ...to the point of investing your whole self and person? It can be easier to through your whole self into a ministry when others are doing the same, but when it's just you Paul says to continue to invest all of you in the ministry--because it's the Lord's work, and he will provide and work through all of you.

Also, have you ever thought about what you have in your hands? At times in my life i am carrying sports, music, school, faith, family, relationships in my hands...and it's hard to carry anything else...verse 16 it says how we are to be HOLDING OUT the word of life...sometimes i'm content just to hold the word of life...it's really all i can do my hands are so full with other things...but that is not what i am called to do...i am called to hold out the word of life at all costs, and let everything else i would like to hold onto fall into God's hands...so he can do with them as he wants...i am simply suppose to share the light of the world with everyone i come in contact with...word thought and deed.

word thought and deed proclaiming the kingdom and life of Christ...this is incredibly difficult...i cannot even begin to say that i have it figured out...i've figured a lot more of it out recently...but i am still no where near ready to write a book or tell someone else how to live

...it seems to me like i am just suppose to pour myself out...like a drink...and let Christ do the filling and watering...

then i can truly rejoice as i watch him work...

pour yourself and rejoice

:::how do you breathe:::

2009-07-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Mark 15:39

:::And when the centurian, who stood there in front of Jesus, heard his cry and saw how he died, he said, "Surely this man was the Son of God.":::

. . . "and saw how he died he said" . . .

No matter your religious or historical view on the validity of Jesus' life, deity, or ministry...it is hard to deny the impact that his living had on the world...past present and future.

Even in dying, he lead a man to the throne of God and belief and faith in him.

His final breath resulted in a man coming to a realization of who Jesus was...

I haven't had a final breath yet...and i don't know what my final breath will be like...but i hope i consciously allow God to use all of my intermediate breaths like he used Jesus' final.

post written current thoughts with a bowl on the boarderline

2009-07-09T17:11:00.000-07:00

Spoon in hand on the third story back porch, eating a concoction of honey bunches of oats with a disproportionately less amount of milk (helps preserve the crunch)—my mind wanders to many things…lonely things…communal things…things of brotherhood….

The brotherhoods I belong to:: largest of all the Christ following fellowship, smallest of all the manikin escalator riders (ask my sister)::and a slew varying groups in between. Comparing these various groups to the brotherhoods that surrounded our soccer camp last week…the brotherhoods that constantly fire harmful objects at each other from across the street, fighting over who is purchasing the harmful substances they have hidden in their cars, all for the sake of protecting those in their group:::those they …love…

Gang activity has always fascinated me, and seeing it first hand last week was simply amazing. To see the humanity in the blood thirsty killers we usually see on the news, to realize that they kick a soccer ball the same way I do, they enjoy their hamburgers with ketchup, and enjoy a good scoop of icecream from a street vendor as much as the anyone else…the fact that at the end of the day they are going to hell without Jesus Christ living in them…just like the corporate millionaire who donates half his salary to an orphanage in China.

It is amazing how quickly common ground can be found….common ground from which the gospel can be shared…for our brotherhood of eagles common ground was found in a soccer ball and food primarily…humanity secondly….

And as I sit here, watching fireworks go off in the back alley..occasionally mistaking one for a gunshot causing me to bite extra hard on the spoon of cereal..i realize that I never have an excuse to keep the gospel to myself..everyone needs to hear it..everyone has a method in which they can receive it..everyone lives on the borderline…not necessarily of turf wars…but a borderline in their life…and it’s on the common ground our brotherhood will increase in number…cheers:::

seated where i don't belong

2009-06-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

So as the summer continues to unfold, God never ceases to blow my mind...tonight was through the simpleness of a meal:::.

Amidst the week of blistering heat, sun burn, screaming kids, fire hoses, soccer camp, practices and games, our group of the chicago eagles decided to spend the evening serving in a soup kitchen.

Having just returned from Brazil i was somewhat ready for the poverty we found at the downtown chicago homeless shelter, but i wasn't prepared for the reaction of comparison that would develope in my head.

We prepared a nice meal of tacos, watermelon, and ice cream--a simple effort at appeasing natural hunger needs faced by billions every day--and we prepared smiles and sensitive hearts and prayerful attitudes for the more difficultly mended spiritual needs faced by everyone every day.

We hadn't been at the shelter for more than 30 minutes when all the sudden i began singing the song "Carried to the Table" by Leeland..::..specificall the chorus::

I'm carried to the table,
seated where i don't belong,
i'm carried to the table,
and i'm swept away by his love...

I'm well aware of the materials ways in which i've blessed, and recently time spent with those blessed with a lesser portion in these areas has opened my eyes to the brevity and in-importance of those things and areas we usually list first in our "ways we are blessed" commentaries...

but the time spent with those has continuously opened my eyes to the amazingness of the fact that God opens his life and arms to me, and carries me to HIS table...and seats me at his table...a place i know i don't belong...not only that, but he carries anyone who lets him carry them::

i'm doing a terrible job at portraying my thoughts...but just the fact that he loves us so immensly and unconditionaly...to bring us in and bless us with his presense and sustenance dailiy...something we do not deserve...amazes me...brings me to my knees

and here at this table...we lose sight of everything that doesn't matter:: our brokeness, our needs, ourselves...and we're just captivated by his lavishing lovings on us...

i imagine my soul looked very tattered, tired, and undeserving when it walked up to heaven's gates looking for some form of sustenence...and then when it saw the extent of how Jesus truly wanted to care for it...all the sudden the meal didn't seem so important...nor did the brokeness or state of my soul...cause he carried me...

:::into his presense:::

(encourage everyone to follow the link to the song...it might help explain the ramblings typed above)

Lord I Wanna Yearn

2009-06-18T21:51:00.000-07:00

So i have officially been state side for 2 days now, and i would be lying if i told you it was adequate time to process everything that happened in the last two weeks, and now i fully understand what God was doing and teaching on our trip to Brazil, but i think 2 days has given me enough time to come up with a few stories i would like to share::

::to inform::to encourage::to challenge::

1::.
Right after landing in Rio de Janero, our group of 40 split into two smaller groups of roughly 20. i was blessed with the opportunity to travel to Teresopolis ( a city north of Rio in the mountains) to work with Projecta Crecer (project grow) for the first week. It was here that we met Marlin and his family. Marlin is a pastor and founder of Project Grow, and he had this great idea of starting and forming soccer leagues and camps that have Bible studies attached before and after games (kinda've like upward sports....but MORE emphasis on the Bible...sports are superflous anyway ;-)) Anyway, this man is the walking embodiment of burning to tell others about the gospel...like so many christians he tries so hard to contain the gospel inside of him...but that's just because it's flowing out of him anyway, and if he gave recless abandon to it, he would scare the living day lights out of everyone he wants to share with. (It's a strange analogy i know, but trust me, this man loves Jesus and wants for EVERYONE he touches to love him as well)

After working with the project for a few days helping them with the camps and sharing out testimonies and the gospel with the kids (seeing around 20 make commitments for Christ (allelujiah)) We started working on our main project while in Teresopolis::. Morro de Chillo (Hill of the Gun). Morro is a favela, a slum, a place where you are born into and never get out, a place where girls come easy and drugs come cheap, a place where dirt, filth, wretchedness, and sin are the norm. After starting at the front gate to this other world, and walking 15 minutes up the hill through the streets, we came to the field. It wasn't more than 6 small trees fashioned into two goals, 80 yards of dirt, and a cliff, but it was one of the most beautiful fields i've ever played on. Kids followed us up the hill and when they saw the soccer balls hit the dirt they came running and wanted to play. So that's what we did. For a solid two hours we played soccer, doing drills, playing matches, just skipping around the field, holding kids, handing out hugs and smiles left and right, investing in their life, simply trying to love them in a neighborhood where agape is not well known at all. While we're playing with the kids, parents, pimps, prostitutes, drug lords, beggars, the destitute and almost everyone else in the favela came and was watching from the hill...wonering why these american soccer players had come to their slum. THen we called all the kids in and anyone else who wanted to listen as well, and we told them why were there.

We love soccer:::::But we love Jesus More, and it's only through him that anything and everything we do is possible:::::He came to forgive us and save us from our sins::::Simply because he loves us....and wants nothing but our lives in return. Ultimately, God is the judge of true salvation, but that day close to 25 kids came to the center circle to pray and ask Jesus to come into their hearts. (((I'll write more about some of my reactions to Morrow Later...but it was truly an amazing experience)))

2::.
The week after Teresopolis we were together as a full team again, this time in the Rio de Janero City area. Apart from children at the camps, The guys team had not seen anyone come to accept christ after one of our official matches (game played with older men closer to our age). The girls had had 1 girl decide to place all her hope in Jesus, and that was truly an amazing experience one of the first nights there, but still the guys had yet to see anyone speak up about learning more about Christ. WE arrived at our field with plenty of time to warm up and watch the girls play, but there was a problem...the security guards would not let us onto the field to play our matches...which was a massive bummer because we had brought the church's new sports ministry team with us that day so they could see how we play and share with the teams we are playing with (all about encouaraging the work that is already going places, that way when we leave--they can keep it going longer better faster stronger than we could). So the guys team decides that God has a reason for this, and we're gonna have to hit our knees to figure it out...so that's what we did. All 20+ of us knelt outside the stadium and began praying, confessing that we weren't ready to invest all of us in God's mission that day, asking that God would provide a place to play, or at least the chance to share...that God would be God. Then someone comes up and says that there is another field we can play at...so we load EVERYONE onto the bus (all four teams that were there to play) and head to the other field. The girls played their game, and the guys just hung out with the team we would be playing later, juggling passing just enjoying fellowship and relation. After we played our match 2 of our players shared their testimony, and we asked if any of them would like to begin a relationship with Jesus Christ. 3 Teenage boys stepped forward....i was amazed...not because i didn't think God could do it.....but because He knew what he wanted done that day....and to us it looked like the day was falling apart between our attitudes and the first field scenario and various other things...but God is God, and He is Good.

Concludings:::.
There are so many thoughts and stories i wish i could convey to everyone in a blog post, or in a story over coffee for that matter, but that's just unrealistic. THe trip was amazing, and God totally showed that he can use anything, even a round ball, to bring people to his name. And it is only HE that can do it...it's not that the Chicago Eagles and our Team are this great entity that brings people to Christ...He brings people to himself through the spirit...we were just the tools, those who were listening and willing to be used at that time and in that place that he had instituted.

I titled this post after a shane and shane song i found myself singing alot in Brazil...i don't know why....but for some reason it was this trip that opened my eyes to the fact that God can be found if we look...that he is constantly moving and wants us to see his movement and get caught up in it...that he has a purpose and an intention for every day we are alive....He is God of This City...and greater things are yet to come...but we his followers need to be yearning for him...reading sufficiently, praying constantly, and living by faith (even when it doesn't make sense)...Longing for God, desiring to see him move, expecting him to change your life, is something that doesn't belong in a missions trip....

it belongs in a missioned life.

a strong tower

2009-06-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

the last few days have been awesome getting to know the players out here and seeing what the ministry is going to look like.

I think i can almost say with 100% certainty i have not been a part of a group that has been this honest and open about their faith...like faith and christ's working in our lives isn't something that comes up randomly, it's purposefully brought up, at least 80% percent of conversations start, deal with, or end with jesus...in some capacity--it's amazing...

....it makes me wonder what i've been doing with my life thus far...if He can work through our open and honest conversation amongst those who already know him, how much more of an impact can my open and broken conversation have on those who do not know him the way i do....would they want to know him better....would they decide to follow him...will they be turned off to the idea of christ's power???....

the honest answer to these questions is i do not know...realistically cause i have not tried...but i can say that is going to change this summer, that is going to change tomorrow...because we do not have a faith of timidity, but of boldness and confidence in God's power to work.

here's a verse God showed me this morning that kinda've applies to this (you draw the connections) but really just spoke volumes and provided mounds of comfort and encouragement:

II Samuel 22:29-31
You are my lamp, Lord, you turn my darkness into light . . . with your help i can advance in my walk and climb walls . . . because you, your ways are perfect, your word is flawless, you protect those who take refuge in you.

doing my best to live this daily

thanks for all the support and prayers! i'll update once more before we leave for brasil! be praying for the hearts and spirits of everyone we will come in contact with tomorrow! The spirit can change lives!

I just got the Itinerary

2009-05-31T19:30:00.000-07:00

So after driving to chicago today and spending a solid few hours trying to memorize everyone's names, where they're from, and what they want to accomplish with the ministry this summer--the director steps up to the mic and seriously made my dad.

Here's the itinerary and primary guideline for this summer:::

:::Love Jesus with all of your being, and do as you please:::

This is a concept i've been working on and struggling through for a few years now, this concept of living worship, of letting your love for Jesus be what drives and determines your actions--and be what is pleasing to you.

I don't know, just think about that: Christ came to give us an abundant life, a life full of options for us to do so many things-and all in a way that is pleasing to him and ourselves::

I don't know, it's a lens worth putting on and examining your life through.

grace and love

I read it in a book once...

2009-05-27T18:23:00.000-07:00

somewhere early in elementary school i picked up a book entitled "Charlotte Eagles: Biographies"--the book told in simple fashion the stories of professional soccer players who gave up their blossoming careers so that they could better use their abilities to serve Christ and evangelize.

Being the young Bible enthused soccer player i was, i could not get over the idea of how cool it would be to play the game i love all for the glory of the God i love. i've done my best over the years to leave a positive influence on teammates, opponents, campers, coaches, all hopefully pointing to my creator....but i've never completely felt a peace about it. Soccer still served my purposes just as much if not more than a missional out reach i would have liked for it to have been.

In 8th grade, my homeroom teacher asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, it was during this time i was debating my call into missions--but i responded with a vote of confidence saying that i wanted to use soccer to spread the gospel--not really sure if it would ever truly work out

6 years later, now while using soccer to pay for college, our coach introduced us to a man who says he worked for the Charlotte Eagles and wanted to talk to us about using our gifts in soccer for a higher calling...one of eternal significance.

I don't know how many more years God will allow me to play soccer at the level i enjoy, but i do know that he has the rest of my life to place me in situations he will want me to share the love of Jesus with others. Lucky for me, he has given me the opportunity to do both this summer--in the propper order: Him first, and soccer is just the bonus.

Myself and about 40 other college christian student athletes will be working with the Chicago Eagles-the collegiate summer version of the book i read years ago. I'm a little nervous, a little scared, and a lot excited to see what all God has in store for everyone, including myself, this summer.

Please be praying for safety in travel and sporting events, the sensitive hearts and open ears of everyone we share the gospel with, for boldness on our parts to share, for humility to give all glory where it is due, and love and peace to cover every action done this summer and through our lives!

more updates will be coming all summer: journalistic, reflective, contemplative, pictoral, devotional, and raw in nature!

grace love and peace

what kinda he should i be?

2009-05-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

so been kinda thinking about the kinda guy i wanna be in this world today...and i think David had the right idea, i might borrow some of these:

Be a He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

...kinda've a tall order...but worth striving for it think....here we go

POSTSECRETS

2009-05-12T07:24:00.000-07:00

While sitting in the Student Government Association office the other day, my eyes landed on one of the newer editions of the PostSecret series. I had heard a lot about these books and websites, but had never actually taken the time to flip through the pages and read it's content.

People from all over the world have sent in post cards revealing a secret to anyone who picks up the book that they have never told before. Secrets about God, love, sex, marriage, suicide, friends, spouses, allergies, parents, school, lies, cheating, deceit, and happiness fill the pages.

Even though some made me laugh and were lighthearted in nature, i was more heart broken at what i read than anything else. Many of the statements cry of loneliness, anger, sadness.

The apostle Peter said in his first letter that we are to --Place ourselves under God's mighty hand, that he may lift us up in due time, Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you--(I Peter 5:6-8)

So many of the hurts and secrets of our lives come from us submitting ourselves to the wrong thing or person. We place ourselves under the control of drugs, sex, friends, alcohol, school, sports, work and family-and in the end, none of them lift us up, bring us happiness, peace, or joy.

But God's hand is light and easy to submit to, and in the end he will lift us up, bring us peace and joy...because he cares for us more, better, and on a deeper level than anyone else.

We can spend our whole lives looking for someone or something we trust to put ourselves under and share our heart with...someone or something who will listen when we want them to...

...what about a God who IS listening all the time simply because he wants to...

identity?

2009-04-28T20:08:00.001-07:00

I recently cut my hair...like 5 inches off...went from the laid back shaggy snowboarding kid, to the clean cut spikey (almost preppy) kid.

Got me thinking:::

how do i define myself? how do others define me?

think about it, if you asked:
A blind person,
A deaf person,
A close friend,
To define you--how would they compare? Would you agree with them? what is the real you? what do others perceive when they experience "you"

:::::::

Inked Esperanza Siempre

2009-04-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

Continuing the explanation of titles, quotes, and things around my blog, i figured the title would be a good place to tackle next:

Esperanza is the Spanish word for hope, or in verb form to wait for. Siempre simply translates everlasting or forever. The Inked part of the URL came from the fact that "Esperanza" is inked into arm, probably for "siempre" as far as my earthly body is concerned cause i do not plan on undergoing the painful operations of removing a tattoo ;-)

How weird is the emotion, feeling, desire of HOPE? It's completely intangible, and almost irrational, yet its presence, or lack there of, can totally alter our mental and emotional state. People struggle to live without hope just as much as people struggle to live with their hope in the wrong things.

My tattoo is a wave arm band patter with the word "esperanza/hope" written under neath it. Somtimes life feels like a rolling sea, with the waves of life crashing all around us--and i often find myself having to dive down and swim through all of this to find my hope, to see who my hope is in.

Even when i don't see Jesus helping me at the moment, even when i don't know where i am going, the thought, the idea, the HOPE that somehow, someway, somewhere, he is going to take care of me is enough to take the next step, or continue being patient waiting for him...simply hope.

Sometimes hope is hard to pinpoint, it's hard to see manifested, and it can be hard to verbalize...but its one of the 3 that will remain: Faith, Hope, and Love.

What are you hoping for? what are you hoping in? why do you hope?

It's written across the top of my page

2009-03-19T11:24:00.001-07:00

So i don't think i've ever taken the time to explain the name and prompts around my blog-and figured that might be worth doing!

For starters-the verse that is written across the top of the page: Psalm 27:13-14 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and Wait in the Lord."

how much time do we spend every day complaining and talking about how bad we think everything is? the economy, our health, the government, entertainment, our sportsteam, aunt betty's meat loaf--nothing in this world is good, and we can't wait to get to heaven where everything will be alright!

I think the psalmist was on to something--God created this world "good"...and this world and our lives in it are suppose to display his goodness...

So, heres to looking for God's goodness everywhere in our world-We're only going to find it in Him...which is why the psalmist tells us to wait on and in him--because if we do...he'll show up...and we'll see that he is good...and his world is too.

Heaven can wait...i wanna see God's glory here and now.

Sell and Give

2009-02-27T11:30:00.000-08:00

My nightly bible studies have found me immersed the gospel of Luke lately, and a few verses really jumped out at me the other night:

Luke 18: 22, 29-30 " You still lack one thing, Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me...no one who has left his home, his wife, his brothers, his parents, or his children for the sake of my kingdom will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come, eternal life."

First of all, i find it interesting that the thing this man lacked, he was missing, was a lack of earthly possessions. He was lacking a lack of____? what am i lacking a lack of?

Typically, depend on who you bring this passage up around determines their response. Some will hail it as their anthem and background for the ministry, the shane claibornes of the world...I salute you people. Others will quickly begin trying to read the "deeper" meaning of what Jesus was saying here--usually concluding that it is possible to be following Jesus while maintaining most of their possessions and money...I challenge we people.

The next interesting thing is that Jesus simply says "give to the poor"...he does not say "give money" or anything in specific...he just says "give". Jesus knows that all have humanity will be blessed with an excess of something...and whatever that is...give from that. if we're blessed financially, give. if we're blessed with time, give. if we're blessed with arms to hug: give. I think the verb is more important than the direct object...which is why i think Jesus left it out.

So why must we sell everything we have, if we we don't necessarily have to give our money to the poor? I think because the more things we have, the more stuff that stands between us and the way jesus has called us too...plus figuratively speaking, stuff weighs us down...and we have all these possessions (insert noun) that simply present potential obstacles in our path. So, why not sell them, get rid of them, give them, so that way our walks are clear and we can tread lightly.

But, i need my stuff, God's blessed me with it, what will i do with out it? I don't really have a response to this, but Jesus did. He said in the above verses that if we give of ourselves (specifically he speaks of family relationships) we will be rewarded above and beyond in this life...and then again so in eternal life.

I'm not saying we should give so we can receive more...that's kinda negates the process...but instead we should realize that we are not losing anything if we give and sell everything. Because God is in control, he knows whats best for us, and knows what we truly need... the more we lack the more he will be to us. He wants to be our sole/soul possession...and if hes all we have, we have everything we need...and he's the best thing we can give.

give to the lacking from what you lack--and watch jesus become everything

heroes and sidekicks. . .and those on the sideline

2009-02-16T17:46:00.000-08:00

Growing up i was what some might term a "homeopathic" child--meaning i was brought up on whole grain, flax, sugar in the raw, yogurt, i used my imagination more than i used the TV, and i was devastated when told i was not allowed to go outside and play.

Recently i've been introduced to things such as EasyMac, fruit snacks, and comic series!

Of these 3 my introduction into the world of superheroes has been my favorite-you would not believe that amount of time i've spent catching up on cartoons and comic books since late highschool and early college--it's quite pathetic...i'll admit it.

Thinking about heroes and teams of heroes got me thinking about a comic book of my life...and consequently the lives of others around me. Naturally--i would be the main character in a comic book about my life (did that sound redundant), the protagonist if you will. I really do not know who or what the antagonist would be--my life's relatively conflict free (apart from the normal relational stuff). And i would be sure that all my friends get their own book in which they become the other main character--a comic book featuring the relationship between the two of us...maybe 3 or 4 of us as a Team if you will...

...and then there would be the rest of the "supporting cast"...you know...those who are featured in one book only...those who show up for a few action squares...those who are only appear in the library scene...and even those who are just always the back ground and the scenery...

Yesterday at lunch, something hit me-If everyone had their own comic book series about their lives, there would be more books featuring me as a sidekick and sideline/background character than there would be of me as the main character.

HUH

I live my life like i'm the main character...but clearly the largest amount of ink is going to spent on me being a sidekick...or a nobody...

Why do we live our lives like we're the only ones who matter? Why are we the protagonists in this life? What if we started living our lives with the goal and the intention of being a sidekick--with the goal and the intention of contributing to someone elses story--what if the only reason we're here is to make someone else stand out in the foreground?

Jesus (who i would argue is the protagonist in the graphic novel that composes the earth's history) came to call those in the background to the foreground. To aid those failing their own stories--to show them their life is worth the paintor's ink.

Jesus came, lived, and died for all--following him requires the same of us...up up and away

!!!!JUST CLICK THE BUTTON!!!!

2009-01-31T23:23:00.000-08:00

This post does not present any thought provoking questions, or any attempts at deep interpretation of scripture, but instead seeks to bring to your attention a wonderful opportunity to touch the lives of many children, all in one day! while listening to AMAZING MUSIC!

how's that for a teaser?--seriously tho, all you have to do is click the Extended Melody Project button on the right half of the blog to go whizzing through the internet to learn more about this amazing opportunity!

if you would like to get involved, leave me a comment, or send me an email!

All my loving!
Cody

EMP 13..ish

2009-01-18T20:21:00.000-08:00

No it's not a device to wipe out all Machines attacking my ship from which i access the matrix,

BUT instead it's benefit concert in the working that will raise money to support an Orphanage in Penedu Brazil, which is currently run and funded by a pastor and his wife--along with 23 children living in their house.

In addition to supporting them through prayer, we'd like to raise money for them so that they can buy an irrigation pump in order to cultivate their own food. Which will significantly cut down on their monthly spending.

If you'd like to get involved (know bands that would like to preform, make a donation, volunteer time, pray, spread the word) shoot me, or Ryan Walker (see Friends and Amigos), an email.

ALSO-Click the EXTENDED MELODY PROJECT button to the right of my blog to see the actual project website!

lets get involved!

Too long to make a comment out of it!

2009-01-14T21:47:00.001-08:00

So I am fully aware that after....um...10 days of philosophy class i have no clue as the answer to any of life's major problems, dilemmas, theories, arguments, and what have you. (besides "Jesus"--which has worked surprisingly well thus far...20 years into life...) Any way, i said i would respond to my last post in comment, but the paper i wrote for my class on that topic was just too long to confine to a topic....so here it is...in all it's uneducated glory and probable heretical theory...ENJOY

God is fully capable of the logically impossible...but when he intervenes with said logically impossible...is it still logically impossible?

In a universe clearly bound and confined by logic it only stands to reason that all things within that universe are also bound by logic. I do not, however, believe that God is bound by logic in the same sense that humans and all other created things are. In other words, I believe God can do the logically impossible.

By most dictionaries and scholars, logic is defined as the science that examines the principles governing correct or reliable inference. From this broad definition we can categorize events, arguments, and even nouns into categories such as casually possible, logically possible, and logically impossible or contradictory. Casually possible events do not violate the laws of nature; a blue whale that weighs 150 tons is a casually possible event, but a living human who does not have a device to pump blood to the rest of his body is casually impossible. Anything is logically possible provided that it can be imagined in the human mind; many movie producers have made their living and renowned careers on the logically possible events and worlds they depict. Finally, the logically impossible must have some sort of contradiction, where the statement or scenario refutes itself and makes it impossible for the statement to be true or false at all.

By stating that God capable of the logically impossible, one is opening up the possibility to be saved and not saved, forgiven and not forgiven, at the same. Or, God could create a square circle or a rock so heavy he could not lift it, thereby limiting his own power and refuting his omnipotence. Many people accuse the Bible of stating contradictory principles: God wants that man should not perish, yet God established a hell to send those who do not believe in Him. The best way to begin reasoning through the opposition is to state what actually does limit God. I believe God is limited by his nature and only his nature. We can infer from studying the Bible that God is omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient, unchangeable, holy and righteous, love, truth and wisdom. At the fall of man, creation stepped outside the nature of God, and, consequently, he had to establish a means leading back inside of his nature. That means came in the form of Jesus Christ, who is the first living example of the logically impossible, for he was full human and fully God in the same instance. This statement is self refuting for it is impossible to be God, who is not human, and human, who is not God, at the same time, but, according to the Bible, Jesus transcends the contradiction making it possible. Now, through his death, mankind has a path back inside God’s nature, but it requires a choice, hence two alternatives for eternity. Mankind chose to leave the confines of God’s nature, and if mankind does not choose to reenter his way, God cannot defy his just, righteous, and holy nature and allow us back in.

Another point or question often asked is if it possible for God to create a square circle, rock so heavy he cannot lift it, or taco so hot he cannot eat it. These questions do not necessarily apply to God’s nature as much as his creative abilities. No one has died from consuming a food too spicy before, for there is always a more basic substance that could be consumed afterwards to neutralize the momentary spicy sensation, so I do not even regard this question as pertinent. I do believe, however, that the counter example involving the rock is addressable. Provided that one believes and acknowledges the Trinity as each fully God, it is possible that God, the Father and Creator, could create a rock too heavy for Jesus, God in human body, to lift. In Matthew 17:20, Jesus said, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible to you.” John also records Jesus saying, “And you will do even greater things than me.” So even though the rock may not be moveable by Jesus, God, by faith the disciples had the ability to cast the mountain into the sea.

I also believe that God created a square circle. For this explanation one must momentarily accept the flat earth theory as fact, and disregard any conspiracy of modern scientific evidence that could potentially state otherwise. First picture the earth as an enormous pancake, with enough thickness that we have not drilled though to the other side, but not enough thickness to make it a cylinder by modern geometric terms. Imagine grabbing the “side” of the world, meaning what gives it depth, and begin to unravel the world in a circular motion from the outer most side and edge all the way to the core. If done properly the earth will now be a very long strip of earth and rock resembling a rectangle or square depending on the exact dimensions of our earth. When rolled together we live on a circle, but unraveled it is a square. Should we assume the flat earth theory is not true, it still stands to reason that an item, cell, or organism exists that is a square circle and we have not discovered yet. But, to avoid an argument of ignorance, it is also possible that outside of our universe and the Euclidean definitions of geometric shapes God has something that he refers to as a square circle. This creation does not counter his nature but simply the human definitions of shapes.

Finally, and most importantly, the issue that if God is capable of the logically impossible, humans could be both not saved and saved at the same time. By our current logic and reasoning systems this statement contradicts the law of non-contradiction and has the greatest eternal ramifications. If God is all powerful, and the creator of the universe, and consequently time, it is obvious that he is larger than the universe he created and unbound by time; both statements can be verified in the Bible. I do not believe that God sees the history of his universe as a timeline in a book, but rather a collection of slides each representing the smallest unit of time imaginable. All of these slides placed end to end would make up the timeline of the universe from start to finish. Because the time that binds mankind is an object God can hold in his hand, he can look at it from the side, underneath, top, or end. Should he place all the slides together, in chronological order, and look at them from the end, he can see all of time and its happenings in one instant. In this one instant He will see the decision I made to follow Christ and become saved. A miniscule step farther back, he will see when I was not saved, but to him, it’s all one instant. Therefore, all of earth’s history happens in what would be one instant, measure of time in a timeless dimension that is God’s ultimate abode, and I am seeming saved and not saved at the same time.

Craig S. Hawkins says, “Logic is undeniable, unavoidable, self-evident, or self-explanatory. One cannot not use it. One has to use it to refute it. All such claims are self-contradictory defeating, refuting, or self-stultifying.” I believe God is a logical being and operates in a very logical fashion, but he is not bound by it. He is bound by his nature, and from the small part of his nature we understand we derive the laws of logic and understanding. The ability to reason and harness logic is one of the greatest gifts and abilities God has given us. Because He gave it to us, He must have created it. If He created it, then He must be greater than and outside of it, thereby not bound by it and capable of performing the logically impossible. I believe God gave us logic so that we could utilize our brains to their highest degree to understand him, thus learning more about him, which ultimately leads me to falling more in love with him. Yes, God can do the logically impossible.

hm....verrrrryyyy interresting....

2009-01-12T06:26:00.000-08:00

So i don't really know what i completely think about this yet...so i'm not going to elaborate on it....yet....but please feel free to respond with your thoughts and opinions! all are welcome!

Can God do the Logically impossible? meaning what is logically contradictory? such as be make a rock so big he can't lift it, or make a taco so hot he can't eat it?

I guess it gets interesting if we say he can do the logically impossible...(because all things are possible with God)...does that mean i can be forgiven and not forgiven at the same time? saved and unsaved? But if from this argument we say, well i guess God can't do the logically impossible, then we're kinda saying that God is confined and limited by....um....something....

thoughts? heresies? truths? i'll prolly follow up in comment form--see you there!

Be Our Guest?

2008-12-21T13:20:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h3Cvs1caeA

A lesson from Disney Channel-

You don't necessarily have to watch the video, but I thought it would be fun for a few of us to relive our childhoods with a scene from perhaps one of my favorite Disney Musicals of all time. I won't lie, this post came to mind the other day while driving home and the song "Be our Guest" came on my iPod-refusing to skip it I decided to listen to it all the way through, and quite a few lines jumped out at me and the way I live my Christian life.

First of all, lets say Beast's castle, and the dining room more specifically, is the "Church" building and institution. And lets say Belle, is well, a guest in the church. First of all, I find it interesting and heart warming it is to see how excited all the castle inhabitants get when they find out a "guest" is in the castle. And their excitement is genuine and bubbling over, i mean, the roll out the red carpet and a meal to make any one happy to be there.

Secondly, I find it very interesting when Lumiere says, "we only live to serve".
Isn't that what Jesus said? The son of man didn't come to serve but to be served? So I think Lumiere and the other enchanted house wear appliances were on to something...however I feel that they were also a little off.

Why must the guests come into the dining room to finally be served? Why aren't the servants running out of the castle taking their service gifts to the world...in hopes to bring more guests back to the table? I think Lumiere says it best:

Life is so unnerving
For a servant who's not serving
He's not whole without a soul to wait upon
Ah, those good old days when we were useful...
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Ten years we've been rusting
Needing so much more than dusting
Needing exercise, a chance to use our skills!
Most days we just lay around the castle
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!

I don't want to be a rusting needing dusting servant. Jesus got out and traveled around, met people where they were, then told them where to go. In his parables he said if the invited guests aren't showing up for the banquet then to go out into the street and bring in the truly needy-there's no need to spend 10 years waiting for someone to come to me....we, the servants, have to GO out and then serve....cause what's a servant who's not serving?

how do you see it?

2008-11-24T06:54:00.000-08:00

So in the grand scheme of life, we humans try to come up with some various analogies to describe our relationship to someone, the situation we're in, or simply the life we're trying to live.

Now, granted, there are no perfect analogies, and i think the sole, or soul, purpose of analogies is to help us understand the realities that we actually face.

So here's the newest one concerning the life:

Lately life has seemed like a set of stairs. Not just a single set of stairs, for that would get boring, but a plethora of stairs starting at different levels and leading to even different levels. Naturally you can only be on one set of stairs at a time, which ultimately resulted from a decision that we had to make. A decision to get on that set of stairs. Hopefully we climb those stairs to the top, or realize that it's the wrong set of stairs before we get to high.

I like to think I'm following Jesus up these stairs, with the ultimate destination of being the most like him possible. But, sometimes i feel like after a long hard climb to, lets say, the 19th floor, i finally look up, exhausted from the long and tedious climb, and realize that while i was staring at my feet and the simple and ever illusive next step, by the time i reach that 19th level Jesus has already ascended to the next one and his shouting "HEY! Come up here! it's soo great up here!!! let's go!"

And there i stand...looking at 5 new sets of stairs leading to the next level...not all the same place on that level, for that is impossible, but variously places along that next level. Some stairs are steeper with big steps, others are more sloped with long, small steps. Some are slick and new, others are old an worn. Some start tough and get easier, while others start easy and get more difficult. And, some are the spiraling stair cases that make me sick just looking at them. And the decision is mine. The destination is the same, but the journey will look very different with each stair case.

How do you see it?

Making everything Glorious

2008-11-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

God is so glorious it will take us an eternity of learning and fellowship with him to not fully comprehend and understand his gloriousness.

hm...

and he is mindful of us...to the point of sacrificing himself so that we can have the chance to not fully understand his glory.

it's a like running in a tunnel full of light with the ever brighter end of the tunnel forever ahead of us.

how do i reflect what little understanding of his glorious light i have to a world shrouded in darkness?

Individualistic, Selfish, Animals, and "true community"

2008-10-31T10:25:00.000-07:00

A few people responded the last post (I hate community) with some really good comments, one in particular really got me thinking.

The gist of the comment was that even though Jesus and community go hand in hand, we still need to put a conscious effort into building community, because our culture is very individuated.

This is where Cody would usually say something about agreeing with that statement, or perhaps disagreeing...but i don't really know what i think...and i guess here are my thoughts:

I think that our culture is made up of individuals (single beings) and the majority in our culture tend to live by individualism (living one's life the way that one particularly wants).

But i think individualism is actually more selfserving, or selfish, instead of separation and division of living beings (that's more prison i think).

Are we an individualistic society? Or are we just selfish.

Video chat, txting, AIM, facebook, blogspot, and the US postal service are all mediums through which we connect with others. In essence, they are all mediums through which we build community, in addition to the ammount of time i spend in the physical proximity of other people.

I'm struggling to come up with a society that is comprised of people living in isolation, or an extreme lack of community (like jaguars of the animal kingdom who live in complete isolation except during the brief months of creating/raising a family--the second of which is done solely by the females).....and i don't know....i'm struggling to come up with one....even monasteries (silent ones) have human interaction and communal concepts.

I guess sure, compared to other civilizations and cultures and time periods, 21st century America is a much more individuated group--with single family groups living together, people living alone and so forth. But at the same time, i have to say it's one of the most connected and communal societies in the history of the world. We can talk to anyone at any time, and thanks to modern transportation, should i want to spend time with anyone in the world, at the most its a 15 hour plane ride to wherever their person is located...

I think we have the community part pretty well down, it's making that community Christ centered that's the hardest part...(i've heard this worded "true community" before)...and i think that starts in each and every individual's heart, and spreads to the whole.

just my thoughts, now i want to hear yours!

....i hate community....

2008-10-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

So this thing should be smothered in disclaimers, but-if you know my heart this might make some sense, and you might still come to the conclusion that i'm wrong...but that's okay-i, by no means, have everything figured out!

I've spent my whole life inside a christian community. My family raised me under Godly principles, I went to church growing up, attended a small christian school, and now am attending a small christian college.

All of these make "community" (fellowship, bonding, living with and for one another) rather simple. Or maybe they make things more difficult...because apparently we still don't have a good enough community...or we need more of it...or we the people in the community are still being too inward focussed and selfish...BECAUSE i read and hear so many people talk about being more communal.

Seriously--every small group, every chapel, every side conversation about why our campus and church is struggling with the struggles it is can be tied and linked a lack of community. Maybe not a lack of community is the problem, but MORE community and communal people will remedey the issue.

And i really don't think i can take it any more. Community is great--but i've had enough community.

I'm really hungry for some more Jesus.

Granted i can get plenty of Jesus on my own--i have a bible and numerous commentaries and the sort to meet with Jesus on my own--but why isn't he the answers to our communal problems?

seriously?

I think people are implying that Jesus was a very communal person (and no arguments there) but the belief that by having more community we'll have more Jesus is just a lie (my opinion). It should be the other way around. The only way to have healthy and satisfying community is to have a healthy and satisfying relationship with Jesus.

Personal Philosophy--if everyone becomes the most concerned with, and makes their first priority their relationship with Jesus--community is just going to happen. And we're not gonna sit around and go--oh what great community this is--lets keep this going. It'll be more along the lines of--oh wow, what a great Jesus we have, lets keep learning more about him so we can tell others about him to.

Manejando en el otono

2008-09-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

In my favorite (and only) car, coffee beverage of the day, music blaring, and windows down, these are my thoughts on my drive back to campus today (in no particular order):

#1--Wow are people screwed up! haha, and that's not necessarily a bad thing--it's just honestly the way things are. Spent an awesome few hours talking with my parents and it just hit me how hard human life is. I'm really trying to avoid the oh so christian cliche' of "we're all broken" but it's soo true. And its funny, cause sometimes when things fall apart, we don't necessarily sweep them under the rug--but they fall and happen to roll under the table--and as long as stand in a certain place in the room of our heart's and live's we don't have to see what we haven't taken care of. Which in the long run does nothing for ourselves on this journey of restoration, reconsciliation, and making ourselves whole (opposite of broken) again. We have to deal with stuff as it happens in our life. Be pro-active in our own lives in a way that is sensitive and in agreement with God's leading and guiding. Sometimes the PRO-ACTIVE thing to do is just sit and WAIT for God to take care of it for us. (convo with the parents was really good yall--alot of good life change going on)

#2-- In the gospels when the disciples are on a boat in the middle of that giant storm--i think it's incredibly funny and appropriate that they ran around on the ship bailing water, doing everything they knew how to do to help their case and cause survive the situation. When they realized this strategy wasn't working so well, THEN they go and WAKE JESUS UP. (he was there the whole time..but they let him fall asleep in their lives). And when they wake him up, and turn the situation over to him, he CALMS the storm. He doesn't help their case and cause--he fixes the PROBLEM--which the disciples could never do on their own. (no matter how hard i try to control the weather--i just can't (-;)

#3--Our God is awesome. I always try to live my life in a worshipful way. Let my life be my worship. But today--i spent in excess of 2 hours just in musical worship--in a church setting. WOW. Why don't we do that more often? It was a lot of the same songs over and over again (playing the same set for multiple services) but something new hit me from a different song every time we started worshipping--i don't know-it was just an excellent time of being solely focussed on the one i owe my life too.

Anyway--amazing day--learned alot, rediscovered a lot, and hopefully will never be the same again.

gozo

I was thinking, over thinking

2008-09-18T18:11:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since my last post--i could excuse that fact with any number of time consumptions such as school, homework, soccer, friends, family, or even sleep. But, the truth is i've been thinking pretty hard about what i should write about--my devotions have been pretty good lately--lots of revealing stuff that needs to be/is trying to be applied to my life...but nothing jumped out at me to write down.

And in thinking about what i should write about, i started thinking about all the thinking we do as humans.

think about it

Our minds kinda function like this separate part of our body--we don't need to TRY to think of things, things just come to mind and then we usually purposefully steer the thoughts from there. Thoughts are involuntary and totally random, but at the same time carefully planned and explored and governed.

This concept and dichotomy really intrigues me--because usually my thoughts (conscious and un-conscious) are based, or at least rooted, in something that's in or on my heart.

Soccer///friends///family///school///joy///love///missions///the color blue///music///sadness///anger///frustration///and so much more all have a piece of my heart.

Which with my heart so divided right now over so many things could explain this constant mood i seem to have been in, but that's a different blog for a different time. AND ANYWAYS--where i was going with this:

If the heart is the wellspring of life, and from it an individual speaks and acts--it should be guarded above all else. But--sometimes i think we separate our hearts and minds. Let them war against each other if you will. And Biblically speaking we will guard our heart and let our thoughts and mind suffer. So what if we tried a reverse process? What if we pruned from the top down, if you will. Phillipians has a great passage about what we should think about, and HOW we should think about whatever is "pure, lovely, true, noble, right, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy."

So for me right now, gonna work on changing my thoughts to more positive, loving, and Jesus things, becuase to do that is gonna require some work'n on my heart--and maybe, just maybe then this life will begin to change...from the inside out.

siempre pensando a ti

So....

2008-09-03T22:45:00.000-07:00

What if, instead of living our lives according the rules and principles set before us-both governmental, societal, cultural, and biblical...

We lived our lives in response to and according to who God IS

New Creation

2008-08-26T21:11:00.000-07:00

So, from the last post to this post the titles, at least, are complete opposites--but that's okay, you read it all and be the judge as to whether or not any my posts actually make sense! ;-)

So being back at school has had me thinking--especially meeting new people, and stepping into some different leadership rolls on campus--and thinking kinda makes me look at people a lil differently this year than last year.

Which in the long run is prolly a good thing, because last year i had a terible view of everything in life--well for part of it anyway--and while i was thinking about how to view people, and situations this year i read 2 Corinthians 5:16--which says that we no longer view anyone from a worldy point of view.

That blew my mind.

I don't really know how to NOT do that--i mean, i look at anyone and i see--"athlete, music kid, christian, lost, emo, goth, happy, sad, big, small, fat, tall, skinny, boy, girl, cool, strange, red, yellow, purple green, and that strangest kid i've ever seen"

and then i think back to Samuel trying to find a king for israel--and God says, "man looks on the outside, but God looks at the heart."

If God definitely doesn't have a worldly point of view--and God looks at peoples hearts. Not their appearance, not their words, not their friends--he looks at them, what makes them tick, what's at their core, their passions, their dreams, their character--and ANYONE in Christ is and can be a new creation.

So here's to no more labeling and boxing people on sight and first impressions,
and here's to trying to see people's hearts the way God does, one person at a time.

Old and Decrepit

2008-08-23T21:19:00.000-07:00

I usually pride myself on being a relatively perky, bubbly, and semi crazy individual--in just about any circumstance.
Okay, maybe i don't pride myself on it, but that's typically who i am, and i usually enjoy the joking friendly grief everyone gives me about it,

But lately i've just felt old--

Now, part of that might be the fact that i'm playing soccer 6 hours a day at an icredibly taxing level (yea, i fell asleep at 9pm the other day...yikes)...part of it might be the fact that i'm getting a lil bit of a bug of some sort (yea, moving back onto campus, and the immune system just hasn't adjusted yet)...and part of it might be the fact that theres a lot on my mind about life in general that i like to give thought to and talk to others about, but in reality does wear me out a bit when coupled with everything else.

But here's where the kicker is--that's normal.
These bodies (although originally created to last for eternity) age, tire, and fall apart.

.....and that's okay.....

Cause God created us with an eternal, internal, soul--that undergoes countless beatings and battels in a day, but has the ability to be renewed faster than anything on this earth. 2 Corinthians 4 talks about it, but what it comes down to is that we have the tools to renew ourselves on a daily basis.

okay, ultimately we're not doing the renewing-- we have to at least plug in.

read God's word--it's the written and visual dipiction of God's thoughts, dreams, and plans for our life and his world--WOW

Pray

sometimes it makes me sick how often i take that gift for granted. How many times do i just long to talk to one of my friends? a family member? just to say something to them and have them hear me- even hear back from them?

The creator of the universe, the one who knit my very being (physical, emotional and spiritual) together continuously has his ear bent to hear anything i have to say, and alwyas has something to say in return.

At the end of the day--there's really no excuse to feel down and out and bummed--does it happen, absolutely, i wouldn't be human if it didn't--

It's awesome to know God can and will renew you each and everyday, from the inside out--and for that my soul cries out.

Want to Go Fishing?

2008-08-18T20:56:00.001-07:00

I love the way Jesus used different parallels in the Bible- and how consistent he was with all of them. One of my favorite analogies he uses is sharing the power of his work in my own life like fishing.

I don't know about you, but i am terrible fishermen--even when i go with my grandpa--who was one of the best bass guides in all of South Carolina--i'm lucky if i get anything to so much as look at my lure, let alone bite it and hold on long enough for me to maybe get it in the boat--it's really quite pathetic.

In light of this, i couldn't help but laugh when i was reading about one of the fishing trips Peter and John were on (John 21). They'd been out all day, and they hadn't caught a thing.
Then Jesus shows up, and says, "hey-why don't you cast out to the other side one more time?"
and what amazes me is that 1-they do, and 2-they catch so much fish that their nets can't be pulled into shore--they have to drag the nets (in the water) to the shore--where Jesus is waiting for them.

The biggest thing that hit me in all of this is that when you're doing God's work, and following his plan for your life--you better 1-do what he says, and 2-make sure you're headed towards, and taking others towards him. He knows what he's doing, it's his plan--all we have to do is listen and keep him the focus of whatever is going on in our lives, and the rest will just fall into place. ( i use that phrase to really mean He takes care of the rest).

I might ellaborate on how i think this specifically applies to evangelism and reaching out to others at a different point, but for now--i gotta work on applying this much to my life, and for seconds--its time for bed!

pon tu esperanza en el senor

What Do You Have?

2008-08-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

So our last and final week at Glorietta has been pretty awesome, because its college week and it's really good to fellowship with people my own age--it's cool to see where other kids around my age are in their journey--and it's awesome to have a sweet speaker such as David Platt in to present God's word to us every night. If you don't know who he is or haven't heard him speak i highly highly reccomend that you check him out!

Any way--stuff i've been reading in John (still) and some stuff David was speaking on from Luke really coincided at a uniquely God time and really got me thinking on some things:

How Big is your God? what kind of God do you have? The God in the Bible is sooo incredibly amazing--he's all powerful, all knowing, all understanding, all sovereign, all deserving of EVERYTHING--and yet requiring and needing nothing. He needs nothing from us. God does not NEED US-- i think so often in our walk and in our faith we start to think that God needs us--"If I weren't a Christian who would .....(insert whatever work we do for His kingdom here)"

And that's where i'm utterly and totally baffled-- God does not need us--the rocks will cry out if we at the very least don't declare the glory of his name- God will accomplish his will because it is his will to do--and we have no say over what his will is or how it gets done--He is God--and He is going to do His will--
And this is the amazing thing that has me baffled--God wants to include us in his will. His will involves us. He WANTS us. He wants us so badly that he sent his son (who is also God and every adjective listed above) to the earth so that we can have a right relationship with him and understand how bad he wants us.

I don't know-maybe its just me--but the fact that the God who needs nothing wants us to follow him more than anything just makes me excited. We are loved. And if we seek and follow him--we guarunteed all that he has--himself. That's all Jesus had--was himself and his relationship with the father. He had no place to lay his head, he had no guarunteed source of anything--but Jesus and a relationship with the Father, and that was enough for Him (who is God)--so i hope that's all i have--and i realize that's enough for me.

(Luke 9:57-62)

Will You?

2008-08-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

Will You.....?

2 words that carry so much weight and influence-- they serve as a question, as a challenge, a motivator--and they deserve a response.

A passage the other day taht really caught my eye was John 13.

The chapter begins with Jesus washing the disciples feet--which speaks wonderfully of humility and servitude, and when done washing their feet he goes on to predict his betrayal, and talk about how he is going to be leaving soon- and how the disciples can not follow where he is going.

I imagine at this point all of the disciples were confused and little upset--their teacher is talking about leaving them behind, leaving them in charge of the world and this new found way of life-- and not only is he leaving them, but he's telling them that they are not ready to follow him where he is going. I imagine most of the disciples felt the way Peter did, but he was the only one recorded to have voiced his frustration with this-

"Lord, why can't i follow you now? I will lay dow my life for you!"

Jesus' immediate response-

"Will you really lay down your life for me?"

So often i feel like we get frustrated, we want to follow Jesus, we want to do the things he's doing, we want to be a part of something bigger than ourselves--and we make amazing claims like Peter did-- and Jesus response--"Will you really lay down your life for me?"

God doesn't want our words, our frustrated attempts at impressing him--he simply wants our lives. I don't think Jesus' response here actually refers to the actual death of the individual's physical body--I think it's the life that everyone of us has within us. The life that makes us breathe, the life that makes our hearts burn, the lives that we so often think we have all planned out. He wants us to want what he wants--to sacrifice our desires, our dreams, our plans, and adopt his, to follow him, the way, the truth, and the life, wherever he may lead.

And the amazing thing is-- Jesus asks Peter this question 3 years into their relationship--not at the beginning--at the beginning it was "Come and follow me"-a loving command.
Right before he leaves them 3 years later, its "Will you?"-a call to a higher purpose, a question that demands a response.

will you?

Shut up and Listen

2008-07-30T20:41:00.000-07:00

Haha, hows that for a first blog title under a new website! but seriously--definitely what i've been hearing in my head and heart for a while now, allow me to ellaborate:

First of all, i've spent the last month in New Mexico working at a Christian Conference center--and the funny thing is, i didn't necessarily want to be here--i had about 5 other summer options that i wanted to do--but God clearly dropped this opportunity in my lap-so i decided to follow and see where i ended up. I think that was the beginning of opening the eyes and ears of my heart. I think sometimes the only reason God leads us to certain people and places is so that he can communicate with us more clearly.

Like Moses and the burning bush. I don’t find it a coincidence that Moses followed a sheep away from the flock, up into the mountains to a place where God was clearly working and had things he wanted to say to him, personally. What amazes me more about that passage is that God (in paraphrase) says “HEY! I AM the creator of the universe and all things, and this is my Holy Ground—here’s what I want to do in my world, and I would like to use you to do so.”
…..and Moses makes excuses….he says everything besides the fact that he just Doesn’t Want To Do It…. And that simply blows my mind. How many times have I heard God say something, I’ve thought about doing something I know he’s telling me to do—and I’ve come up with every reason not to and then watched as someone else did exactly what I know God was telling me—and see that it all would have worked out fine. But going back to the first thing…the supreme creator of the universe, and my life, has something he wants me to do—why on earth do I not drop everything I am doing and do what he wants me to do—he’s got it all figured out anyway!

John chapter 10 has had me thinking as well, and specifically verses 1-21. This is where Jesus is talking about the sheep and how they know his voice. If we are sheep, and Jesus is our shepherd, we NEED to know his voice—it’s crucial—the sheep know their shepherd’s voice and follow it religiously, there can be a crowd of people all around them, dressed the same, and when they all call out at once—they know which voice is THEIR shepherd’s, and they know to follow that voice, because they trust that voice, they know that voice knows the way, that voice has protected them and for all they know will continue to do so!
Another word that just jumps out at me in that passage is that it says, “with his voice he LEADS them”—in verse 3—that simple word just means so much- so not only do the trust their shepherd, know his voice and only listen for it, his voice is LEADING them—its up ahead, it’s already down the path he wants the sheep to follow on— the path my look scary, dangerous, or just straight up crazy—but in the long run—he’s already gone down the path enough to know its where he wants us and he is calling out in his perfectly distinguishable voice, telling us that it’s okay-and we simply need to listen, and follow.

So yea, a few verses and passages that have changed the way I live my daily life, and I thought you would enjoy to!